1.     Suzy Snowflake

That’s it? Suzy Snowflake?

2022 had its share of unfinished business from 2021 which looked as if it was going to be a rinse and repeat of the last few years. Then, Vladimir Putin felt the need to expand his real estate holdings.  

That did not go well with the rest of the world. ,There is much to be said about that mess however I will reframe for now!

Yet here we are, at the beginning of 2023 and the war continues. Since this blog is about gratitude, I will move forward.

The loss of my spiritual mentor, Reverend Doctor Marlene Morris, in March, dealt me a devastating blow. With a gentle nudge, Marlene kept me moving in my life path. When I started to sabotage my value, my self-worth and my human experience, she would always remind me with a good swift burst of “knock it off Heidi.” There is so much more to say about this extraordinary woman which I’ll share in the new year.  I am blessed that she is now resting close to my home and I visit her often.  The loss is an understatement.

2022 continued to unfold as predicted until September 16^th.  For years I had been putting off getting a knee replacement. Finally, I ran out of reasons why the surgery needed to be delayed. With the pain increasing, I succumbed.  

I truly had no idea how deeply I would be affected emotionally and physically. I am grateful to my friends and the amazing healing professionals that got me back up and moving forward. However, there was a greater underlining dis-ease that needed to be heard.

I am a huge fan of “When-I” list.  When I get the weight off, when I get a new knee, when I get my studio set up, etc.  It’s endless.  During my recovery from the surgery, it was apparent to me that “When-I” wasn’t going to cut it anymore.  I was there and it was time to face the music.

While healing, metaphors started to swirl around in my head.  The new knee allowed me to move forward.  Moving forward without baggage meant I had a lot of physical and mental shit to get over.

Just prior to my surgery, I started a new friendship with my neighbor Vanessa. Turns out that Vanessa is a published writer.  She kindly signed one of her books to me, Rock Needs River, A Memoir About a Very Open Adoption. I shared that I was adopted and was excited to read her story from a different point of view. I got about 12 pages into the book and started to tear up. All my life I was able to tuck away any issues that surrounded my adoption. I am grateful for my adopted parents that loved me, took care of me and were great role models. Like many people, I swabbed my cheek and sent away to “23 & Me” to see if I had any biological family out there. I realized that I had deep emotional work to do around my adoption and knew Vanessa would play a very significant role. Aside for a few 3^rd & 4^th cousins—nada! I did find out that I am 94% Italian.  Yippee! At least I can trace my love of pizza!

So where does Suzy Snowflake fit in to all of this? Fast forward to a few weeks ago. I was invited to the 2^nd Grade Holiday Show at the local elementary school.  My next door neighbor’s son, Jude was performing and I was on the guest list.  Quite an honor. As I sat in the auditorium it occurred to me that this event marked more than just a 15 minute holiday show. I went to this school as a kindergartener all the way through 6^th Grade. So, after over 60 years later, here I am, back where I literary started! Oy Vey! 

Several days later, Young Jude and I were having a very serious conversation about Christmas music as I was firing up the keyboard for a Christmas Eve sing-a-long.  He asked me if I had Susy Snowflake which was one of the three songs, he had learned for the Holiday Show.  I explained that Suzy Snowflake, according to the teacher hosting the event, was an original song for the show. I truly did not want to volunteer to go to the school and see if I could get a copy of the music. I am a good person but not that good!

This morning I was going through some old sheet music, and there in the pile of random songs was Suzy herself!  That was one in a billion chance and yet, there it was! Having no choice, I am committed to learning the not-so-original-Suzy Snowflake!

FINALLY things started to fall in place! Thank God I didn’t bet my house on Suzy Snowflake or I would be living in my car.

While it’s all symbolic, I do believe that each of these moments play a roll as my story continues to evolve. No more “When-I List”. Listen to the Universal messages.  Stay open to hearing, seeing and accepting as guidance comes your way.

I believe in 2023.  There is a kinetic movement in the air. I can’t define it just yet, however, I do know that it contains empowerment, bravery, compassion, inspiration, forgiveness and healing. Stay diligent my friends!  

I wish you a very exciting new year. Hold on tight. it’s going to be a doozy!

In gratitude with love, Heidi

About Heidi:

Heidi Hirsch lives in the Los Angeles area.  She is the Executive Producer for Invitation To Tomorrow Today a newly launched consulting firm. When she is not working towards bringing the future to the present, her domestic responsibilities include attending to the demanding animals which at last count were, Koi and two very noisy birds, Sweet Pea and Charlie Parker.

Where Would You Like To Be? by Heidi Hirsch

Wanda Baker, our wonderful Founder of LGBT Daily Spotlight, recently reminded me that I have been writing this Blog for over five years. I couldn’t believe that! My first Blog was posted on June 20th, 2017.  

Looking back on the last five years, we have had a heck of a ride. Here are just a few of the stories that made headlines:

2017

Once again, a new President was selected by the Electoral College, not by the popular vote of the people. Twitter went crazy and women marched. The fashion of the day was Pussy hats. Our new President had made headlines for grabbing women by their private parts, and Harvey Weinstein finally paid the price. Our political swamp was poached by thugs. Confederate statues came down. Scaramucci was fired and became a celebrity. Eighty heroic bystanders formed a human chain to save a drowning family on a Florida beach. A man saved dozens of lives during the deadly shooting at a music festival in Las Vegas. Mass shootings and Fake News became the norm.

 2018

Brett Kavanaugh cried and got rewarded. Bill Cosby cried and got outed as a serial rapist, and USA Gymnastics team doctor Larry Nassar was sentenced up to 175 years in prison. The #MeToo movement went global. Some Royals got married and then cut loose. Trump defended separation of migrant families. California passed Gun Control Bills. Trump publicly sided with Putin over U.S. intelligence agencies. Democrats win back the House. More mass shootings. Hurricane season was marked by a record number of storms. The Trump administration disbands the White House pandemic response team.

2019

Donny “T” got impeached — fat lot of good that did. The most diverse class of lawmakers in history were sworn into the 116th Congress, including the most women ever. Lori Loughlin and Felicity Huffman did a little time in the “thinking chair.” Obama-era climate changes were overturned. Trump officially ended the Clean Power Plan and rolled back regulations on waste from coal plants. A Federal Judge kept the Trump Administration from ending no-cost birth control. The deficit of the United States was the biggest in seven years. The first black openly gay female becomes Mayor of Chicago. The epidemiologist embedded in China’s disease center is eliminated by Trump. Youth-led climate activism goes global.

2020

 There’s a mysterious pneumonia outbreak in China.  No worries, it was in China. In March, we shut down because of that outbreak for two weeks while we “Cleared the air.” Regarding Covid-19, Bob Woodward later revealed that Trump knew in February how dangerous it was and stated, “It’s also more deadly than even your strenuous flu…This is deadly stuff.”  In May, we shut down the streets and protested the death of George Floyd. In September, we lost an iconic leader, Ruth Bader Ginsburg. In November, after four years of insanity, we caught a glimmer of hope, Joe Bidden was elected President and we had the first woman, Kamala Harris, become Vice-President of the United States.

 2021

January 6 saw our nation’s Capitol attacked by a mob of organized  Trump supporters. We had the inauguration of a new President. Wall Street was forced to pay attention to retail investors with the GameStop frenzy. Trump becomes the first outgoing president to boycott his successor’s inauguration since Andrew Johnson in 1869 and to this day, still lies about the outcome of the election. Endangered species are making a comeback.  Covid-19, a disease, becomes political. President Biden signs executive orders to push Americans to get vaccinated. Juneteenth becomes a federal holiday. Twitter permanently suspended Trump, citing ‘Risk of further incitement of violence.’ And, don’t forget all those fun-loving billionaires that got to float in space. 

We are now in 2022 — Republican State legislators are passing voter restriction laws — the only way they think they can win. Boris Johnson has resigned. Chris Rock got slapped and Will Smith got banned. Elon twitted that he’s out of Twitter. We’ve had more school and other mass shootings and we’re back to “Don’t say Gay” again. The pandemic has been downgraded to an epidemic. February brought on the Russian invasion of Ukraine. Investments in our infrastructure are on the way. The religious zealots of the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade. Women’s rights are now back to 1972! But in August, the red state of Kansas voted overwhelmingly to keep the right to an abortion in their state constitution. President Biden made a statement, “This vote makes clear what we know: The majority of Americans agree that women should have access to abortion and should have the right to make their own health care decisions.”  Scientists revealed that cheese isn’t bad for you.

All these news stories and events are just a few examples of how the last five years will be seen in history. 

Enough!!!  I submit to you a much-needed addendum.  

In the last five years, a lot of positive changes came about. We stood up to racism and slapped the status quo silly. We proved the power of the right to vote. We let predators know, no matter who they are, to keep their fucking hands off of our bodies. During the worst of the pandemic, we found that sewing circles were not a thing of the past. Folks from all over the country made masks and shields for healthcare workers. The definition of heroes changed for the better.

We told the celebrated privileged that they are not above the law and “doing time” applies to everybody. We were forced into a social correction and found out that spending time with our families is more important than putting in time at the office. We came together as a world and realized that sharing and caring for others is not just a well-crafted marketing slogan.  

We have lots more to do. We can and we will. The insanity that a group of people can take away our rights to decide what we can and cannot do with our bodies is about to be blown to smithereens. We must stand up to racism, anti-semitism, misogyny, and gay-bashing. Let’s call it out for what it is — a despicable excuse to demonize others.

Today, as I am writing this, Lieutenant Uhura has left us. Nichelle Nichols, died at 89. As an actor, she broke color barriers and helped redefine roles for black performers. To me, she was the most important woman on the Star Trek Enterprise Bridge. She served as communications officer and second in command. It was not unusual to see her rewire or repair her own communications board during a crisis.

So, the question still remains. 

Where do I want to be five years from now?

I want to be thriving, learning, exploring, and waking up in the morning eager to see what the new day brings.

Yeah…no.

I want to wake up to the smell of fresh brewed coffee.  THEN, I’ll give some thought to the new day.

In Gratitude and Proud

About Heidi:

Heidi Hirsch lives in the Los Angeles area.  She is the Executive Producer for Invitation To Tomorrow Today a newly launched consulting firm. When she is not working towards bringing the future to the present, her domestic responsibilities include attending to the demanding animals which at last count were, Koi and two very noisy birds, Sweet Pea and Charlie Parker.

When Wanda asked me to write a blog entry about my new book, Captured Up Close (20th Century Short-Short Stories) for the LGBT Daily Spotlight, I asked, “What can I say that would interest your readers?” She said, “Write something personal.” Since I write fiction, I balked. You could say, I hide behind my characters, preferring to let them speak for me through my stories. But now, I’ll share myself without a role to hide behind. 

My themes on LGBT, racial, and social injustices are obvious to anyone who reads my stories. In Captured Up Close, four of the stories are about what it was like to be gay or transgender in the last century. 

I grew up in a time when being gay was considered a mental illness. We were called degenerates, child molesters, monsters. Ignorance in the “straight” world was pervasive. It was a lonely and difficult life made more so because I could only be myself and had no shame about it. That got me into a lot of trouble. Girls were scared of me, as if being gay were contagious. Guys wanted to change me as if having sex with them would magically make me straight. My mother was horrified that she had a “sick” daughter. She tried some weird stuff like locking me in my room. She even took me to a psychiatrist. He told my mother, even after I told him I liked girls, that I wasn’t a lesbian because I didn’t “look like one.” Wow, what a competent shrink! 

But the biggest nonsense to ever come out of my mother’s mouth was that it was rock music that turned me into a homosexual. Toward the end of my mother’s long life, her views about LGBT people changed, and she called Wanda her daughter-in-law. 

In spite of the alienation, there was something exciting, on-the-edge, even thrilling about “being me.” I had no role models, couldn’t relate to the butch-femme thing. I liked creating myself, discovering the different aspects of me, not conforming to the rules of society, and most of all shunning the idea that I was going to hell because I was gay. I never blamed my parents for being stupid. They’d been brainwashed by the church, politicians, and the looping of a homophobic culture.

One thing I know for sure: gay people must come out of the closet. We have to make our many millions visible. We are sons and daughters, mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers. It’s hardest for transexuals. It takes courage to be themselves when fear and prejudice are so prevalent. 

In Captured Up Close, “1984” is the story of a friendship between a drag queen living with AIDS and the lesbian nurse who cares for him. The decision to put in his obituary that he died of AIDS and not pneumonia 

is a big coming out for James. 

Before Stonewall, LGBT people lived like Stormy and VaVoom from “1957.” They were beaten, rounded up, and tossed in jail for gathering in bars, the only place at that time where Queer people could meet and socialize.

And in my first story, “1912,” a gender-bending vaudevillian is torn between being a man and a woman to save himself from drowning.

But it’s “1968,” where Johnny sneaks out of the house to go to his first gay bar that I took from my own life. I never stole my parents’ car, but I did do some crazy things like stuffing pillows under my covers at night to make it look like my body in case my parents looked in on me, climbing out my bedroom, and dashing across the woods to see my girlfriend who lived a couple of miles away. 

There are other stories not LGBT related. To me we’re all one big happy and dysfunctional family trying not to throw food at each other at holiday meals but instead lift our glasses in a toast to love and acceptance. 

I hope to entertain, enlighten, and uplift people through my stories. That’s why I write. As Edward Bulwer-Lytton said in 1839,“The pen is mightier than the sword.”

Open a new window, open a new door.  

Sound familiar? They’re lyrics from the musical Mame*.

Change can be challenging.  Change takes a leap of faith. As the saying goes— “You have to do something you have never done before to achieve something you have never had before.”

It’s so much easier to leave things the way they are. No use upsetting the apple cart.

Sometimes it takes a major event to shake things up, that turns us upside down.

We are past that point. We were all tossed in orbit the past two years facing something that nobody saw coming.

So now that the unforeseen has happened, let’s take an assessment of where we are. We have been stripped down to our metaphoric skivvies. It’s time for a fresh start.

We have the opportunity to do it all over again, but this time with the lessons we have learned. How do we go from feeling like a prisoner to creating our perfect world? Let’s start with an empty undefined space and build it with who we are today.

Look around you. Is your world cluttered?  Physically and mentality? Are you keeping things you no longer need? Do your thoughts keep you from moving forward?

 Shake it off!  (Thanks to Taylor Swift.)

Rather lofty? Start with a small space, a single thought. What if that space only housed what made you happy? What if every time you entered that space you were filled with joy. What if you became balanced, rejuvenated, energetic, and peaceful. 

How do we get started? Start from scratch. Anything you can get off the shelf has probably been tampered with.  

Let’s get going!

First, find a stone, preferably a smooth stone like a river rock. Hold it in your hands, feel the weight.  If this is the one, visualize a word.  Any word. Once you have that word, set the stone down. Find a place to be comfortable. Close your eyes. Take deep breaths and exhale slowly. Be aware of your breathing. In my world, I call it Blue Sky. Thoughts will pop up. If a negative thought or emotion comes up—send it away. Have a journal to jot down notes. Remember, this is yours to do what you want. 

Here  are a few tips to this exercise: 

1. Just because it comes up, doesn’t mean it gets to stay.

2. If it doesn’t make sense, don’t rule it out.  Add it to the list for now. Remember it’s YOUR world, you can have anything you want in your space!

3. If you still want that pony you never got, maybe you need to find a symbol of that pony or get a pony!

4. This is about your empowerment. 

5. If it feels like a “have to” let it go.

. Visualize only what makes you happy. 

 This is an exercise to realize that the power to make changes is within you. Remember, take the time to empower yourself.

There is one more thing to consider adding to your space. Visualize a window and a door. When you are ready, stand in your portal of change, open that new window or walk through that new door!

By the way, the word on my stone is Aviator.  

Flying High and Proud

About Heidi:

Heidi Hirsch lives in the Los Angeles area.  She is the Executive Producer for Invitation To Tomorrow Today a newly launched consulting firm. When she is not working towards bringing the future to the present, her domestic responsibilities include attending to the demanding animals which at last count were, Koi and two very noisy birds, Sweet Pea and Charlie Parker.

*Mame

Open a New Window

Music and Lyrics by Jerry Herman

Release Date

January 1 1966

My 2021 Choices by Heidi Hirsch

In 1859, Charles Dickens wrote A Tale of Two Cities.

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.”

Here we are at the end of 2021 and the similarity is alarming.

This year, more than ever, it is the choices that we make that we shall reflect upon.

We continue to rise from the worst of our times. From this we shattered despair and strengthen determination.  We step out of our fears and comfort others.  That, what was hoarded, was shared.  Hope grew, flourished, and survived. Our weary rejoiced in the sound of laughter. Many were lost, many were found. The human spirit — victorious. 

As I look back on this year, the freedom to make choices, and the choices I made defined where I stand today.

My top ten GOOD choices of 2021:

10.  I tore up my “To Do List.” I realized that there will never be a “Done” list.  I created the list — I can destroy the list!

9.  Spending more time in the Oculus playing golf and less time in the real world.

8.  Getting out of my own way leads to great opportunities coming my way.

7.  De-clutter my home, my life, and my thoughts.  Releasing “I should   have”, I’ll do it on the weekend”, I might wear that someday”. Donating to thrift shops really does make you feel better!

6.  I thought the best food on the planet was cheese and macaroni from the box. I realized that I had a choice — I could load up on junk food and watch my health deteriorate or step up and take control.  Instead of gaining the Covid 30, I dropped the life-long 80.

5.  I complained a lot about the homeless crisis.  I decided instead of complaining to take some time to understanding and look for solutions.  My friends and I went to visit Hope of the Valley Tiny Homes for Homeless.  We learned about the real work that is being done on the street not the political houses of government. Learn from those that have their boots on the ground. To donate or learn more: https://www.hopeofthevalley.org

4.  Instead of doing it tomorrow, do it today. Tomorrow will be today and it will just continue.

3.  If you don’t have time to treat yourself, stop what you are doing.  Make room for you!

2.  Re-connecting with a greater sense of self. 

1.  Taking care of my health and choosing protection.

Along with all those solid choices, I also made a few not-well-thought-out ones. It’s good to be honest with yourself, so I bring to you four of my really excellent BAD choices from last year!

4. Just because you have a ladder, it doesn’t mean you should use it!

3. Appliances will give you warnings.  Ignoring them is setting yourself up for running around in the middle of the night looking for the water shut-off valve.

2. So, apparently getting a Covid Booster AND Flu shot at the same time, probably not so wise. 

1. Watching the policeman on a motorcycle and while keeping an eye on him, you go through a stop sign. The next thing you see is him turning on the red lights behind you. THAT was a very expensive bad choice.

More than ever before, I believe our country will come together by the choices we make. I believe that Charles Dickens said it best, “Make your choices well.” 

Keep your light shining bright!

Happy New Year to all!

About Heidi:

Heidi Hirsch lives in the Los Angeles area.  She is the Executive Producer for Invitation To Tomorrow Today a newly launched consulting firm. When she is not working towards bringing the future to the present, her domestic responsibilities include attending to the demanding animals which at last count were, Koi and two very noisy birds, Sweet Pea and Charlie Parker.

Casting the Creative Spirit

In my career, I’ve often had the task of developing project teams. My current position is Director of Project Development for an architectural firm. Getting to know people, not just their skills and experience, is important. It’s crucial to bring the right people together to create a well balanced team.

    I’ve looked at 100’s of portfolios, websites, and Youtube videos, with 1000’s of images that express the designs of artists, designers, graphic designers, writers, and technical engineers. I scan a body of work quickly and know if they have the chops, but it still doesn’t show the core of their creative spirit.

     Creativity comes in all forms: Communication, critical thinking, problem solving, verbal and physical expression. Everyone of these interactions are forms of storytelling. I look for the individual that brings the story to life in dynamic and inspirational ways. The foundation begins with imagination.

       In interviews, we get to know each other. I always ask these four questions.

1. What’s in your toolbox?

    We all have tool boxes – Thoughts, experiences, or things we have gathered through the years are of great service to us. Some are simple reminders of situations that have resulted in great wisdom, and some send up the red flag!

2. If you had no boundaries, no constraints, and a blank space, what would you do with those tools? 

   Wide open spaces –  Filling the void.  What would you do with nothing? 

3. Of all the things you have heard, all the opinions you have dealt with, what is the one thing you would tellothers to ignore? And the one thing you would tell other to consider.

 Opinions – We are plagued with opinions. Everybody has them. Through the years, those opinions can help or deterus. When you look back, what opinion was the one that stood out as the best and as the least helpful.

4. And finally, what inspires you the most?
   Inspiration – Inspiration is the greatest motivator. Most of the time we might not even know how, who, or what ignites us to stoke the fires.  You might look back and realize that the point of inspirational combustion was a movie, a speaker, a teacher, or a friend. A book can set our world in motion. Inspiration is magical. Share the magic in your life. Who, what, when, where did or do you find your inspiration?

Now it’s your turn!  I hope you will take the time to post your answers to these four questions in comments or email me at stonezoup8@gmail.com.  

I promise to share mine in the next Blog. For now, cut loose, have fun!
Remember everybody has a creative spirit. What’s yours? 

Creative and Proud

About Heidi:

Heidi Hirsch lives in the Los Angeles area.  She is the Executive Producer for Invitation To Tomorrow Today a newly launched consulting firm. When she is not working towards bringing the future to the present, her domestic responsibilities include attending to the demanding animals which at last count were, Koi and two very noisy birds, Sweet Pea and Charlie Parker.

We the People (One Singular Sensation)

by

Heidi Hirsch

One singular sensation, one ringy-dingy, one moment in time, one more for the road, and one small, very small shrieker in Who-ville by the name of Jo-Jo bouncing a Yo-Yo.

Growing up my favorite book was Horton Hears a Who! by Dr. Seuss. I loved Horton. Horton was a gentle elephant who one day while bathing in a pond in the Jungle of Nool, heard a small noise which turned out to be the Whos calling for help. Horton, the hero of the story, was determined to save the small planet Who. The other animals in the jungle didn’t believe Horton and refused to help him until the smallest of the Whos named Jo-Jo, whose voice was the last to shriek, raised the volume just loud enough for them to hear. They then vowed to help Horton protect Who-ville.

What is the point of this? The point is never to forget that one person, one voice can make a difference. To think that we are helpless unless we’re backed by many is the very mindset that the opposition is counting on. Don’t listen to those negative voices that tell you that you can’t make a difference. Listen to the voice within you that tells you, you can.

In March of last year, our lives were turned upside down. We were told in a couple of weeks all would be fine, that the virus would “just disappear.” That turned into 52 weeks and counting. How could this happen? Had we not advanced in medical science since 1918? Surely somebody had the power to move mountains to fix this. We are the United States of America. We are the most powerful nation in the world. And yet, we were hit with a virus that sent this country into chaos. 

Our country’s leadership was an embarrassment, a political Lord of the Flies. Not only did we have a deadly virus running rampant, but we also saw a year of overwhelming destruction to our democracy. Wearing a mask to prevent the spread of a disease was made into a political issue. We saw sickness and death in numbers never seen before. There were voices of anger, riots, murder, homelessness surging, violent racist assaults, false accusations, loss of jobs, a greater number of families falling into poverty. And yet we, the people, came together to feed those in need. We, the people, took it upon ourselves to do what our government refused to do.  

And, as we staggered into this pandemic of medical, mental, and emotional confusion, one person after another took it upon themselves to rise up. To stand with determination and grit adapting to a new normal. We, the people, joined together and shouted that this would not take us down. We, the people, like the Phoenix, will rise and overcome.

John Krasinski, one actor took it upon himself to broadcast, SGN (Some Good News). One family built their own Pirates of the Caribbean in their home, one standing ovation became one standing ovation every night at 7 pm in New York City giving thanks to one nurse, one doctor, one team, that saved the life of one person that multiplied into thousands. One person that said, “No! We are not going to be defeated.”

In November we, the people, said, enough! This will stop. It stopped with the casting of the greatest power we, the people have, the vote. Our vote ended a presidency that sought to destroy our democracy and that lied about the deadliness of Covid-19. We, the people, conquered that by each of us turning out to vote.

January 20th brought about a new sense of relief. We are far from ending the pandemic. However, I felt for the first time in a very long time a feeling of renewed optimism.  

As I watched with joy and pride, a new President and Vice-President were sworn into office.

During the inaugural ceremony without any fanfare, one singular sensation stepped forward. One voice stood out. And from that one voice, words that brought us to our feet with a thunderous ovation.  

One very young woman, one voice, with a very strong message — Amanda Gorman.

The new dawn blooms as we free it.

For there is always light,

If only we’re brave enough to see it

If only we’re brave enough to be it.

The Hill We Climb challenges us to be better, be greater, be stronger, take the responsibility of our privilege, and do something with it. I knew then that we, the people, will come out of this because we are strong and we are invincible. Every one of us can do something positive to enact change.

As sung in “A Chorus Line” — One singular sensation, every little step “we, the people” take can and will make a difference.

You have the power within to make a change. Everything starts with one. And that one is you.

One and Proud

Heidi Hirsch lives in the Los Angeles area.  She is the Executive Producer for Invitation To Tomorrow Today a newly launched consulting firm. When she is not working towards bringing the future to the present, her domestic responsibilities include attending to the demanding animals which at last count were, Koi and two very noisy birds, Sweet Pea and Charlie Parker.

Stepping Up

A Short Story Collection

by

DC Diamondopolous

My wife Wanda, publisher of the LGBT Daily Spotlight, has been an advocate for my short stories. I’m fortunate to be able to post my flyer for the new publication of my book Stepping Up on her popular website.  

I’d like to tell you a little about the book and myself.

What weaves the fourteen award-winning stories together in Stepping Up are characters who on the brink of change must choose between fear or transformation. Whether it’s because of sexism, racism, or homophobia, the stories lay bare the valor of the human spirit. 

My background is in theatre. While performing in an improvisation troupe, I discovered how much I enjoyed creating characters. It led to writing fiction. Unlike acting, I’m not confined by sex, age, or ethnicity. Writing fiction allows me the experience of becoming other people. In the collection, I’m an eighty-five-year-old ex-carny, a pansexual, gender-fluid stand-up comedian, a Korean woman, an African American teenager, a rock legend, a gay man, a fourteen-year-old boy, and others.

I love reading aloud to an audience because I can live through the characters and undergo what they are going through. 

My stories are visual. I often go to the places I write about. Location is important to me. Towns, cities, countries, all have a unique character unto themselves, and I bring that to my writing.

Some of the stories in Stepping Up cross genres, others vary in length from flash fiction to novelette. 

Stepping Up was published by the UK press Impspired. My time working with Steve Cawte, who publishes Impspired was a wonderful experience.

I believe in giving to those who have enriched my life. H.A.R.T. (Homeless Animal Rescue Team) will receive a portion of my royalties. Our cats have given us so much joy through the years, I’m glad I can say thank you with contributions from my book.

DC Diamondopolous is an award-winning novelette, short story, and flash fiction writer with over 250 stories published internationally in print and online magazines, literary journals, and anthologies. DC’s stories have appeared in: 34th Parallel, So It Goes: The Literary Journal of the Kurt Vonnegut Museum and Library, Lunch Ticket, Raven Chronicles, Silver Pen, Blue Lake Review, and others. Nominated twice for the 2020 Pushcart Prize, DC was also nominated in 2017 and in 2020 for Best of the Net Anthology. DC’s short story collection, Stepping Up is published by Impspired (2020). She lives on the California central coast with her wife Wanda and their animals. 

dcdiamondopolous.com

2020: Hot Mess – Gratitude List by Heidi Hirsch

To say that 2020 was a hot mess is an understatement. It has been a roller coaster that even the best designers would not have designed nor would they want to ride it themselves! Through it all, we have seen the most extraordinary acts of kindness and compassion. It is the best of times and it is the worse of times.

Regardless, here we are, so here we go!

2020 Observations:

• 2021 is just around the corner up ahead! Never forget that — “There’s a great big beautiful tomorrow, shining at the end of every day.” Thank you Sherman Brothers for reminding us every day!
• Spend money on yourself – get the best you can. Saving money on hair dye just might backfire.
• We finally know the answer to the big question, “What would you take with you on a deserted island.”
• We now know why Hugh Hefner lived so long. It was the pajamas, not the girls!
• One of the hardest adjustments is not having human contact.
• The mounting death toll and knowing that it didn’t have to be that way.  
• All those movies we watched about things that we thought would never happen in real life — think again.

2020 Phrases I can do without!

1. “I’ve got my rights.” (Yes, you do.  You have the right to wear a mask, you have a right to wear a ventilator, and you have a right to make those choices.  What you don’t have is a right to expose me to Covid-19. WEAR the damn mask!)

2. “Oh man, have I got Zoom fatigue.”

3. “Hey! Check out my new mask. It has dancing Gnomes!”

4. “May I take your temperature please?”

5. “Please keep a distance of 6 feet at all times.”

6. “No thanks, I’m staying in my Bubble.”

7. “Fake News!”

My Top 10 Gratitude list 

I’m grateful for the following:

1.   Healthcare workers and first responders. I will never understand why we place our values on sports figures and movie stars when our frontline workers are priceless.

2.   Black Lives Matter, FINALLY.  We can’t stop here, keep moving forward.3.   American voters have spoken. Correction, American voters have shouted for change! 

4.   For all the animals that I was able to help. They gave me such joy! 

5.   Humor. Through all of this insanity, we still have our sense of humor.  Some of the funniest moments on the human condition have been brought forth. Humor is my barometer. Laughter is the best medicine.

6.   Good will always win over evil. To quote Seth Godin, “The successful affiliate doesn’t seek to out-dominate the dominator. Instead, affiliates weave together enough persistent community pressure to get things back on track. And sooner or later, people realize that the triumph of the dominator, while it can be painful, is short-lived.”

7.   All the scientists that were able to develop vaccines against Covid-19 at record speed.     

8.   Netflix, The Crown, The Queens Gambit, Stranger Things, The Prom, and Succession (Nobody says “F off” like they do!)  

9…My home. I’m fortunate that I’ve been able to create my oasis. A garden, a workshop, a sense of safety, and where I can thrive. Can’t ask for more!

10.. Last but not least, friends, family, neighbors, and my spiritual family. I’m blessed with folks in my life that dove in with both feet. When this crisis hit, we did not scatter, we mobilized. We made masks, we organized food banks for animals, our holiday gatherings became drive-up dinners to go. We acclimated and moved forward.    

Personal note:  I started writing this Blog in June 2017. This will be my 4th end-of-year Gratitude List. Thank you for the opportunity to express my observations. It is my hope that in some way these posts will bring you humor, insight, determination, empowerment, and above all, that you are magnificent! 

The happiest of holidays to all!

PS. If you still don’t know my answer to Observation #3………………….Toilet Paper!

Proud and racing to 2021!

About Heidi:   

Heidi Hirsch lives in the Los Angeles area with two birds, a bunch of Koi, and very demanding squirrels.  As a project developer for Reveal Studio, Inc. she oversees the production and development of the themed entertainment division.  Heidi has recently achieved the status of “Seasoned Citizen”.  In her downtime, she fancies herself as an urban farmer.  “Never did I think I would get so excited over tomatoes and cucumbers without salad dressing!”.

What is your platform?

I am an undeclared voter. The idea that I must align myself with structured categories sends me in orbit!  It has taken me 66 years to accept the fact that I am human. That’s as far as I am willing to be defined.  Like a herd of cattle, we are to aimlessly advance into a narrow mindset that defines you by the rules made by others. Left or right, black or white, gay or straight, for or against. No!

We live in a democratic society. A democracy by definition is a government by elected representatives. It’s a form of society that demands equal rights, freedom of speech, a fair trial, the right to protest, and tolerates the views of all. A society that requires responsible and active work towards a shared vision of a healthy balanced life.  The American dream.

So here we are.  Days away from election day casting our votes to decide who will take the role of a representative that pledges to . . . what?

If we have learned anything from 2020, our lives can be altered in a heartbeat. If Washington has forgotten the summer of 2020, we must remind them that Black Lives Matter is not a distant cry, that women’s rights and LGBT rights are our rights, not that of the government. And the number one issue, dealing with climate change.

I’ve taken it upon myself to define my Platform and vote for me. Well not me, I don’t want the job but the candidate that best aligns with my values. 

So, what about you? What is your platform? What do you stand for?

What principles and values do you rely on to guide your life. Humility, empathy, resilience? Willing to take a risk? To learn to grow? Or do you look to destroy, to intimated? To exercise power for your own self-importance?  Does your day end with a reflection on how many you hurt or how many you helped.

The results of this election will be the most crucial outcome we have ever experienced. Never before have we had so much at stake. Our world is spinning in a chaotic unbalanced whirl.  

Standing at the crossroads, the outcome rests on the shoulders of every citizen of voting age.  We have only one course of action. One entry into the contest. One ticket. One vote.

Since President Reagan, I’ve heard it trickles down from the top. The time has come to turn that upside down. Blasting like a firehose to the top. This is our nation. Take a stand. Those that we have granted leadership roles MUST abide by our terms. They work for us. And if you haven’t seen examples of that commitment, then it is time to remind them. We put them there, we pay their salaries, and we can damn well fire them.

Quoting Doris Kearns Goodwin, “The power is your hands.  Individuals always make different.”

Voting isn’t a right, voting isn’t a choice, voting is a duty, a responsibility.

If you haven’t already voted. Please take the time for yourself and others.  This is our time. Our time to be heard loud and clear! Take back your country, take back your health, your livelihood, and vote like your life depends on it because it does.

Proud and voted.

About Heidi:   

Heidi Hirsch lives in the Los Angeles area with two birds, a bunch of Koi, and very demanding squirrels.  As a project developer for Reveal Studio, Inc. she oversees the production and development of the themed entertainment division.  Heidi has recently achieved the status of “Seasoned Citizen”.  In her downtime, she fancies herself as an urban farmer.  “Never did I think I would get so excited over tomatoes and cucumbers without salad dressing!”.

White Privilege by Heidi Hirsch

I have started this Blog at least a half a dozen times. This has been by far the hardest one to write.

To be honest, up until a few months ago, I had a misconception of what privilege is. I thought of Paris Hilton, the Kardashians, sports stars, and celebrities. Now I understand that if you’re white, you’re privileged.

Several months ago, before we were all grounded, I took a black friend of mine to the Soup Plantation. She said, “I’ve never been here before.”  I said, “You have never been to the Soup Plantation?”  She said, “Yeah, probably the name.”  I looked at her confused and then blurted out, “Oh! My God, it never occurred to me — it’s the word Plantation.”  Thank God, she almost fell on the ground laughing.

If you think, how could I be so dense, there’s not an easy answer. I’m a white kid.  Born and bred in Burbank, California. Black families didn’t live in Burbank and when they did start moving in, it was reported in the local paper. I was too young to realize the implication of the announcement of a black family moving into the neighborhood.  

In my early 20s, I flew with my parents to Singapore. It was the first time I had left the US and I was amazed at the different cultures. The funny thing, looking back on this, is at the time I felt alone and insecure. People starred at me with disdain and I felt that I was being judged solely on my physical appearance. It was emotionally hurtful. I felt weird and uncomfortable and constantly wore my sunglasses to hide. However, that trip opened my eyes to different spiritual beliefs, traditions, celebrations, and so many other things that inspired my desire to learn about other people.

When I went to college, I formed friendships with school mates with different backgrounds and ethnic diversities. One of my best friends was a black gal from Chicago. We used to fly up to San Francisco on the Red-eye out of LAX on Friday nights, spend the weekend, and then fly home Sunday evening. We stayed with her father in the Projects. I didn’t think twice about it.

In 1992, the Los Angeles riots erupted over the acquittals of the four policemen charged in the beating of Rodney King. I saw the tape — was I not to believe my lying eyes? I was stunned that no one was held accountable. The black community protested by rioting. They were saying that “they did not feel protection from the police but instead were being harassed without cause.” Some good came out of this, but with the exception of a note in history, things returned to the status quo. The systemic brutality of black people was only slightly interrupted.

On May 25th, 28 years later, we watched a Minneapolis police officer put his knee on George Floyd’s neck for over 8 minutes.  Officer Chauvin kept the pressure on Mr. Floyd’s neck, even when Mr. Floyd said, “I can’t breathe.”  There is no question, he was brutally murdered by the police as we watched in horror. This time, all hell broke loose. People of all races in the U.S. and around the world rose up and demanded police brutality against minorities had to stop now. Looking-the-other-way was no longer acceptable. 

The majority of protesters were peaceful. There was a smattering of others, including instigators, that looted, broke windows, and started fires. I stared at the TV in disbelief. At the same time, I wasn’t surprised when the cameras turned to the looters and opportunists. Peaceful protesters exercising their first amendment rights became an afterthought.  After all, nothing gets the ratings up like violence. 

After the first day of protests, a friend of mine posted pictures of The Original Farmers Market defaced. That hit home. The Market has been a place my family and I often visited. I was infuriated. How dare they mess with my market. Boy, was I pissed and I made it very clear on Facebook. Then I got called out. I got called out big time. My cousin’s husband, Mike, was dumbfounded and clearly irritated that my only comment in all of this was what they had done to my market. And rightfully so.  When I looked at my posting through his eyes I thought, “Geez Heidi, you just don’t get it, do you.” Well, now I do. I now understand why Kaepernick and other professional athletes opted to kneel when the national anthem was played. It’s a way to non-violently protest against police brutality and racism. Our country hasn’t lived up to her promises for all her people.

I am numb by the acts of cruelty that have polarized our nation. Not only have we witnessed violent conflict between BLM protestors and the police, but Covid-19 has brought about blatant stupid acts of hostility towards people of Asian heritage.

I am disgusted by hatred and division coming from the WH. #45 stating, “There are very fine people on both sides,” when asked about the protestors and the white supremacists in Charlottesville, Virginia. Over half of our country now believe, and with good reason, that the man occupying the WH is a racist.

We are also in the midst of fighting a pandemic. Covid-19 has revealed the economic disparity, especially for minorities. We are seeing the results of systemic poverty and lack of healthcare in black and brown communities. They are getting sick and dying at an alarming rate. We must demand Universal Health Care and a living wage for everyone.

Those of us who are privileged have the responsibility to speak out. This is no longer an option. To my gay brothers and sisters, how many of you can tell me that you have never been discriminated against?

The LGBT community knows all about discrimination. Do I know what it feels like to be black? Of course not, but I do know what it’s like to be laughed at, made fun of, and called derogatory names. But no, I have never feared for my life at the hands of police. I have never been stopped in my neighborhood for walking my dog. Growing up, my parents never sat me down and told me what to do when a police officer approaches me. What an atrocity that a young black child growing up in this country has to have that talk.  

ALL BLACK LIVES MATTER

On July 17, 2020, we lost a great civil-rights leader and LGBT ally, John Lewis. For 33 years he served our country as a US Representative. It’s time we pick up the mantle and follow his advice, “Get in good trouble, necessary trouble.” I say it’s time to take down Confederate statues, rename military bases, buildings, and bridges that carry names of traitors to this country. Leaders of the Confederacy fought to succeed from the United States and to uphold slavery. I can now understand what it’s been like for black people to walk pass statues of men that had fought to keep the institution of slavery. I think of the Edmund Pettus Bridge where John Lewis almost lost his life. Why do we have a bridge named after a Confederate Brigadier General who also served as the Grand Dragon of the Alabama Ku Klux Klan? My ancestors were Jewish. For me, a statue of Hitler or any other Nazi would be horrifying!

As I mentioned, this was a very difficult blog for me to write because I feel inadequate. I was ashamed of my lack of awareness and more importantly, how I squandered my privilege. This will not continue and I will never look at this world in the same way again.

Cousin Mike, thank you for opening my eyes. The truth is, I still don’t know how to respond, but I can learn.

Proud & Privileged

About Heidi:

Heidi Hirsch lives in the Los Angeles area with two birds, a bunch of Koi, and very demanding squirrels.  As a project developer for Reveal Studio, Inc. she oversees the production and development of the themed entertainment division.  Heidi has recently achieved the status of “Seasoned Citizen”.  In her downtime, she fancies herself as an urban farmer.  “Never did I think I would get so excited over tomatoes and cucumbers without salad dressing!”.

There are several excellent books available to read.  These are just a few.  

The Warmth of Other Suns: The Epic Story of America’s Great Migration by Isabel Wilkerson

White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism by Robin Diangelo

How to Be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi

Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?: And Other Conversations About Race by Beverly Daniel Tatum

ADDITIONAL NOTE: White Fragility – be aware there’s been some criticism that the book is condescending and talks down to the black community in its quest to showcase how oppressed they have been. Studying some reviews and articles after the fact, some of the critics’ points were well-made. I leave it up to you.

Here are also some films that are worth seeing: Selma, Harriet, Mississippi Burning, Eyes on the Prize, The Loving Story, and Best of Enemies (based on the true story of Ann Atwater & C. P.  Ellis) to name a few.

Grounded!!

It’s interesting to think about all the times we wished we could just stay home, hang out, binge watch Netflix, and order pizza. How is it that in this generation of social isolation, noise-canceling headsets, and Internet games, we freak out when we are told to stay home.

We act like we have been grounded and life as we know it will never be the same. Probably not. So what if it’s better? What if we come out of this social correction with a revelation that what we were missing all along was buried under too much. 

Are we so busy accumulating, that we lost out on one of the most important reasons I believe we are here on earth to experience? Human connection. Is it not ironic that what we miss the most, that which we crave, is not time with our toys, but time with each other.

We have all seen and experienced human behavior in wondrous ways. Our creativity has forged new means to stay connected. Teachers driving through neighborhoods honking horns, attaching posters to their cars that express how much they miss their students. Neighbors, socially distancing, greeting a young cancer patient coming home after her last chemo treatment. People posting “I’ll shop for you.” Others making calls, checking on friends and relatives, especially those that are older.   

On Easter, our police department conducted a Burbank Police to Celebrate Easter With ‘Stay at Home’ Egg Hunt. Children in the neighborhood were encouraged to color egg-shaped drawings and post in their windows. Many religious services were held online. I attended a Facebook Live Easter celebration.

For many folks, zooming is the new social conduit. I have lunch with colleagues every Thursday via zoom.  Now instead of going out, we sit across from each other on the screen, have a sandwich, and chat. I attend social functions, book clubs, webinars, seminars, and of course those obligatory company meetings. Yesterday I took a tour of the Peterson Automotive Vault via YouTube all in the comfort of my home.   

The world is responding and coming together. Americans in a time of crisis mobilize.  We are resilient and before too long American ingenuity kicks in. Rosie the Riveter is now Maxine the Mask Maker. Private enterprises, small businesses, major corporations, individuals, and families are turning to what we do best. We take matters into our own hands, rise from fear and turn to productivity. What feels like overnight, networks of people all over the country are joining together to answer the need for masks, and face shields for our first responders.  We want to help, we want to give.  

Meanwhile, Covid-19 has overtaken us and we are forced to alter our behavior. “Sheltering in place” to slow the spread of the virus has made it evident that the pollution of the earth is man-made. Mother Nature is changing for the better —  an environmental wake-up call. The canals in Venice are cleaner. Animals that were on the endangered species list are coming back in numbers. The view of China and India from satellites show less air pollution. Some people are seeing the stars for the first time. These are facts. Spring is in the air. Nature is blooming and it’s glorious.

Taking care of your emotional health is just as important as your physical health. Stay informed but listening to repetitively to the news evokes fear and panic. Remember in most cases the news falls under entertainment. And yes, even in these most difficult times, the entertainment news shows, can’t help themselves, it’s in their DNA.

When the virus is gone, one of the greatest takeaways will be how we all came together. We have a new normal and responding to that will be a challenge.

If there is a concern to have, the question to answer will be — will we return to our old ways having learned and experienced nothing. I hope we don’t. Our happiness doesn’t lie in commodities, it’s are our human companionship, our families and friends. Let not the light dim.

No doubt we’ll never know the answer to why scoring a case of toilet paper is only slightly less exciting than winning the Super Bowl.  

Stay Safe, Stay Healthy and Stay Proud.

About Heidi:

Heidi Hirsch lives in the Los Angeles area with two birds, a bunch of Koi and very demanding squirrels.  As a project developer for Reveal Studio, Inc. she oversees the production and development of the themed entertainment division.  Heidi has recently achieved the status of “Seasoned Citizen”.  In her downtime, she fancies herself as an urban farmer.  “Never did I think I would get so excited over tomatoes and cucumbers without salad dressing!”.

Why your vote won’t count. by Heidi Hirsch

If you don’t vote, then one thing is for certain. Your vote won’t count.

I’ll admit, I’m already sick of the political warfare. The recent Democratic debate reminded me of a chapter right out of Lord of the Flies. It was hard to determine if I was watching a Saturday Night Live opening or an actual debate. Just for the record, I am registered undeclared. I vote for who I think is the best person, not by party.

The last thing I want to do is whack my way through the entangled overinflated egos searching through the next group of “saviors” to make America, America again.

Preparing for the already cantankerous behavior that might get worse, I’m inclined to shut out the noise, shut down social media, turn off the TV, find a nice quiet place in the valley of “I Don’t Care” and wait it out. The problem is, if I do that and I don’t vote, then my vote doesn’t count.

If you think voting is a waste of time and one vote doesn’t mean a thing, think again

In several cases, one vote changed the course of history. Remember Aaron Burr? You know, that guy that killed Alexander Hamilton, one vote kept him from becoming President in 1800. Another one vote saved Andrew Johnson from removal of office in 1868 after he was impeached. Which comes to mind, here we are again. The President of the United States has been impeached. One vote could have sent him packing. Think about THAT!!!

The 19th amendment, a women’s right to vote, ratification hinged on one state and one vote. A young Nashville Legislator by the name of Harry Burn, age 24, cast the deciding vote that broke the 48 to 48 tie in which Tennessee became the 36th and deciding state to ratify the amendment.*

And don’t forget Dr. Seuss’ character JoJo. One voice that saved the lives of all the citizens that lived in Whoville. Ok, not a vote but you get the point. A single voice was heard.

Your vote is a privilege and an honor. Squandering that is disrespectful to yourself and to the many people that made great sacrifices in their lives for the right to vote. Democracy is not a spectator sport.  

If you are happy with the State of our Union, you need to vote. If you want to change the State of our Union, you need to vote. Whatever the outcome of Super Tuesday (March 3rd), and beyond, sets the course for the race in November. The choice is yours. Be a part of it.   

When you walk into your polling place, you are not walking in alone. You are representing the warriors before you that fought for your privilege. Join in and stand up. Walk shoulder to shoulder with your friends, family, and neighbors. It’s your community, your state and your country. Proudly wear your “I Voted” sticker. Let everyone know that you count!

Voting and proud

About Heidi:

Heidi Hirsch lives in the Los Angeles area with two birds, a bunch of Koi and very demanding squirrels.  As a project developer for Reveal Studio, Inc. she oversees the production and development of the themed entertainment division.  Heidi has recently achieved the status of “Seasoned Citizen”.  In her downtime, she fancies herself as an urban farmer.  “Never did I think I would get so excited over tomatoes and cucumbers without salad dressing!”.

Credit:

*ThoughtCo. & Wikipedia.org

Things I learned this year.

Laughing and smiling are the two most powerful expressions in the Universe. Neither require lessons or practice. It can happen when you least expect it. The more it happens, the better it gets!

If you think that you don’t matter — stop. Someone has made you feel that way and that reflects on them, not you. Your life is a gift, so share it. You matter!

Kindness stands the test of time. Kindness melts the hardest of hearts. Start with being kind to yourself and those around you. It will spread. Kindness is strength.

Another thing I learned this year is that No is a powerful word. It doesn’t need an explanation.

 Respect starts at home. Your home. Your heart.

A wonderful friend told me that I’m not my body. I struggle with that one. However, what I do know is that my body is my transportation. Take care of your body, It will take you far.

Depriving your self of love is starvation of the heart. Love isn’t a commodity that you barter with. Love is always there. It’s within you.

Surround yourself with what makes you happy. Look around, I’ll bet there are things and people in your life that don’t make you happy. If it doesn’t support you, let it go.

Not everything has to be seen as a lesson. Sometimes stuff happens. It’s called life. Just keep moving forward.

A wagging tail sends my soul soaring. My wagging tail crossed over the rainbow bridge this year. I miss him so much. I truly believe that Eli will send me another wagging tail or two and I will know they came from him.
Like Gloria Gaynor sang, we will survive. Not only will we survive, we will thrive. This year was a stark wake-up call. We did not come this far to be defeated by hate.

As we set forth into the next decade, let us create new ways to inspire ourselves and each other. Expand your love. Open your heart and mind to new adventures. Remember:  fear = fake evidence appearing real. Go forward with enthusiasm.

Happy New Year!

About Heidi:

Heidi Hirsch lives in the Los Angeles area with two birds, a bunch of Koi and very demanding squirrels.  As a project developer for Reveal Studio, Inc. she oversees the production and development of the themed entertainment division.  Heidi has recently achieved the status of “Seasoned Citizen”.  In her downtime, she fancies herself as an urban farmer.  “Never did I think I would get so excited over tomatoes and cucumbers without salad dressing!”.

Happiness, 101 by Heidi Hirsch

How can I be happy when I see so much sadness in the world?

It was from the book Happy No Matter What that changed my thinking about what happiness is. 

Dr. Carol Bliss, author of Happy No Matter What, and I have been friends for more than 30 years.  I first met Carol at a SCWU (Southern California Women for Understanding) meeting.  She drove a corvette with a potato in the front seat.  That was all it took! We were instant friends.  

In her book she writes about everyday people experiencing the challenges of life and how they met those challenges head-on continuing to retain a semblance of happiness in their lives. Several years ago Carol experienced a stroke and she had to start from scratch. Her recovery is remarkable and extraordinary. We talked about her journey since her stroke and how she has rebuilt her life. 

Below are challenges (in her own words) that Carol faced:   

“I have holes in my short term memory. I have tried 600 times to memorize Patsy Cline I Fall to Pieces and I can’t seem to do it.

I had to go upstairs, three flights four times this morning because I forgot my keys, I forgot my water, and my map of the art tour! I got confused on the freeways at night coming home from the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion. My eyes are blinded by bright lights coming toward me. It is a wild ride for me.

I get lost and don’t know where I am.  I have to wear cotton in my ears all the time because I can’t stand loud noises. They are so painful. I am out of balance because my right side feels 15 pounds heavier than my left side.

I have apraxia which means that I can’t connect what I know and get it out fast enough. The right side of my throat and vocal cords are numb, causing me to have to work really hard when I speak or sing. I have to lie down from fatigue when I speak or sing too much.

I have problems with proprioception, which means I can’t feel the fork in my right hand and I can’t feel where my right arm is in space. So as I’m eating, I have to watch the fork all the time.

I can’t feel my right hand on the mouse. Online job applications are way way, way, too hard for me. I can’t feel my right foot on the gas pedal.

Since my left brain was affected, I have trouble with numbers and facts. I tend to get hurt a lot like a kid, since the left frontal pre-cortex was also affected.”

Since Carol’s stroke she has written two books, paints, (the cover of her book is her work), practices yoga, performs in a vocal chorus, kayaks in the Pacific Ocean, and when she isn’t doing that, she is a docent at the Long Beach Art Museum!  She recently completed her 114th hike.  This is after the stroke!  

While she will tell you that she is limited, I will tell you that she is profound in her determination and my greatest inspiration. Through the years we have had may adventures from roller skating to Leather and Lace meetings on etiquette.  Yeah, Carol, I remembered that one! 

In Carol’s book she has a passage devoted to humor and gratitude. Two powerful components that make up happiness.  In every situation no matter how somber, we need to see humor and gratitude.  Not an easy task, I admit but if you can find something to be grateful for and humor in the situation, those two emotions dilute the sting.  The key is to identify the happiness core that powers up and let it take charge.  

Happiness is always there.  I believe that it is our natural state of being.  It isn’t something you buy but something you need to uncover from years of being inundated with Madison Avenue propaganda. 

I think of happiness as a fruit.  The natural sugars of fruit are so sweet.  If you pile sugar onto a piece of fruit, after awhile, the natural flavor taste blah.  The more sugar, the further you are from enjoying the natural flavor.  Hence, the more things need to be happy, the harder it is fine happiness. Happiness comes from within.

Since reading Carol’s book, I have settled into a pattern which has strengthen my preservation of happiness. My copy of Carol’s book looks like it has been through armageddon. I carry it with me in the morning.  As I sit in the great outdoors, I’ll flip though the book and randomly land on a page and start reading from there.  Recently I opened the book to page 61 titled “Happiness in the Natural World.”  

I have found that getting outside as soon as possible in the morning is my first course of action when I start my day.  Once you are safely in the natural world, relax. As your breathing becomes rhythmic, breath in the movement around you.  The sounds and the stillness.  I know that this sounds a bit crazy but I promise if you do this your body will start to acclimate to the patterns of the universe. Adding the sound and movement of running water will infuse the cycle of earth energy into your body keeping you in balance and alignment which equates to the true definition of happiness.  

I asked Carol about her morning ritual which is vital to her continued recovery. She told me,  “I get up naturally at about 7:10 feeling grateful, listen to motivational YouTube videos by Louise Hay or Oprah. I read a couple of deeply inspirational nature poems of Rumi, or Hafiz.  Then I post an inspirational quote tying it in with my own artistic photo on Facebook. Out for a walk at 9 o’clock carrying my iPhone to photograph beauty. At home I send the photos out to someone who looks like they could use more beauty in their life. And then I call a couple of people who are in need of comfort. Often I go to yoga, or swimming, or to the museum, or to vocal performance class.”  

Your goal is to do your best to prevent any input that is contrary to your balance.

I recently made the decision to delete my Facebook account. I felt so inundated and agitated with political rhetoric, animal stories that wrenched my heart, countless ads, and postings that honestly should be addressed by a licensed Psychiatrist . ENOUGH! It terrified me but I’m taking small steps to move towards total elimination. I started with deleting it from my phone.

 As hard as it was, I also started unfriending people.

In order to maintain the balance of happiness there are other steps I take in the morning and at night.  I don’t look at my cell phone in the morning until I’m truly ready to let the outside world in.  And when I’m done for the day, I leave my cell phone out of reach and off.  That’s it until the next day.  I am one of the few people left that actually have a land line.  There are only a few people that have that number and for a good reason!  That goes for my email too. And finally, I don’t turn on the TV in the morning and turn it off before the news at night!  Do I really need to know about, accidents, kidnappings, murders, rapes, and worse of all, the White House???  Keeping all these instruments of torture out of my reach has made a big difference in my increased happiness.  

So, what makes me happy? Making the best decisions that increase my balance and the feeling of contentment. My good fortune to have a friend, a mentor, a guide, and a soul that decided to have this human experience with me and reminds me everyday that there is nothing that can stand in the way of my happiness.

And if for some foolish reason, I’ve lost my way, I’ve got the Divine and friends like Carol to set me on my path again. 

Happy & Proud

About Heidi:

Heidi Hirsch lives in the Los Angeles area with two birds, a bunch of Koi and very demanding squirrels.  As a project developer for Reveal Studio, Inc. she oversees the production and development of the themed entertainment division.  Heidi has recently achieved the status of “Seasoned Citizen”.  In her downtime, she fancies herself as an urban farmer.  “Never did I think I would get so excited over tomatoes and cucumbers without salad dressing!”.

About Dr. Carol Bliss 

Carol Bliss is an author/artist and award-winning professor. She teaches spirituality, creativity, communication, and ancient wisdom traditions. She is the author of three books on New Thought spirituality and is featured in the graduate text, Media, Spiritualities, and Social Change. 

Happy No Matter What

Amazon link:

https://www.amazon.com/Happy-Matter-What-Carol-Bliss/dp/1091983607

Love Heals

Amazon link:

https://www.amazon.com/Love-Heals-Carol-Bliss-PhD/dp/1974467899/ref=sr_1_3?keywords=Carol+Bliss+love+heals+book&qid=1572220948&sr=8-3

In the Darkness, came the Roar 

by Heidi Hirsch

This year is the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall riots. In 1969. the discrimination, the humiliation, and the arrests were met with an explosive roar of enraged voices.

Our history did not start with the riots at Stonewall. Yet what took place there was the catalyst for change. For 3 days in June, gay bashing met its match.

If you don’t know what happened, it’s time you did.

In the early hours of June 28th, armed with a warrant, police stormed into The Stonewall Inn on Christopher Street, in Greenwich Village. They roughed up customers, typical of those days, and finding bootlegged alcohol, arrested 13. New York still had a gender-appropriate clothing statute and people were taken into the bathroom to check their sex.

Fed up with constant police harassment, angry patrons and neighborhood residents hung around outside during the raid. As the events unfolded that night and in the days to follow, riots erupted. Our brothers and sisters came together and stood up to the status quo.

I’ve listed just a few of our heroes that confronted the police.  Learn their names, know them by heart. Be proud of your heritage.

Marsha “Pay it No Mind” Johnson – African-American transgender woman who was an LGBTQ rights activist and an outspoken advocate for trans people of color. (Credit: 1)

Stormé DeLarverie – Butch lesbian, gay civil rights icon and entertainer. “It was a rebellion, it was an uprising, it was a civil rights disobedience – it wasn’t no damn riot.”  Stormé is often referred to as “the gay community’s Rosa Parks.” (Credit: 1)

Tammy Novak- Was an 18-year-old trans woman lived with mob owner of Stonewall Inn, Fat Tony.  She was one of the few allowed to enter the bar in full women’s clothing. After her arrest, she disappeared. (Credit: 1)

Sylvia Rivera – Sylvia was a 17-year-old Puerto Rican drag queen and trans activist on the night of the riot, persuaded by Tammy to attend. She was a founding member of both the Gay Liberation Front and Gay Activists Alliance, as well as co-founding the Street Transvestite Action Revolutionaries with her close friend Marsha P. Johnson. She dedicated her life to helping homeless young drag queens and trans women. (Credit: 1)

Robert “Bob” Kohler – A gay rights pioneer of LGBTQ+ equal opportunity.  Who happened to be walking by Stonewall Inn with his dog when the turmoil was in full swing. “The cops were totally humiliated.  This never, ever happened.  They were angrier than I guess they had ever been because everybody else had rioted… but the fairies were not supposed to riot… no group had ever forced cops to retreat before, so the anger was just enormous.  I mean, they wanted to kill.” (Credit: 2)

Scott G. Brown –  At age 76, in 2017, Brown was one of the oldest survivors of the 1969 Stonewall raid and riots. He devoted his life to advocating for the rights of LGBTQ people through writing, speaking, and educating people about HIV prevention. (Credit: 3)

There were others –  Allyson Allante, Diane Kearney, Zazu Nova, Miss Peaches, Ellen Shumsky, Kay Lahusen, and so many more. (Credit: 3)

Why is it important to remember them?

Danny Garvin – Who was also a part of the riots, told NPR that before Stonewall, “we never realized how connected we were as a community’.  He said: “It didn’t make a difference if you were a drag queen, or if you were a leather queen, or if you were just a young kid, or if you were an older person over 30, we were all fighting for a right… to get back into the bar, to be able to dance, not be oppressed.” (Credit: 1)

There is a point in all of our lives when we simply say “No”.  It was that single syllable word that set off a chain of events during those few days in June that changed all of our lives.

Many of you hadn’t been born yet. But, the course of your life was set in motion in a way that would have never been conceived or dreamed of if the men and women at Stonewall hadn’t said, “No more!”

Take a moment today, think about your life as a gay person. Think about these men and women that paved the path you walk, or dance, or swish to your heart’s content. The clothes you freely wear, the ability to introduce your companion as “My husband, my wife, my lover,” to walk into a gay bar without looking over your shoulder. Today we have gay characters on TV and in the movies. We have extraordinary support from major corporations, health insurance, benefits, the right to marry, and to raise children.  While we are still waiting for the Today Show to marry us on morning TV, I shall save my comments for another day. Our lives are the dreams of many before us.

Be thankful for those who had the courage to live openly and not accept society’s opinions. We benefited from them.

For every one of our Stonewall heroes and all those that came before, let us keep the flame lit and keep moving forward.

I am grateful and I am proud 

(Credit: 1  www.gaystarnews.com)

(Credit: 2 www.womensrepublic.net)

(Credit: 3  www.Huffpost.com)

About Heidi:

Heidi Hirsch lives in the Los Angeles area with two birds, a bunch of Koi and very demanding squirrels.  As a project developer for Reveal Studio, Inc. she oversees the production and development of the themed entertainment division.  Heidi has recently achieved the status of “Seasoned Citizen”.  In her downtime, she fancies herself as an urban farmer.  “Never did I think I would get so excited over tomatoes and cucumbers without salad dressing!”.

A Life Well Lived by Heidi Hirsch

Victor Jerome Banis was born May 25th, 1937. He passed away in February 2019. Wikipedia remembers him as a daring, pioneer of gay literature.

I will remember him as a great influence that set me on a path of rampant indulgence: Sunday Brunches at the Carriage Trade in West Hollywood, Italian Opera, irresponsible sex, lines of coke, rolled joints, and an unabashed celebration of the gay lifestyle in the late 1970’s early 80’s. More important, it was my first sense of being accepted and celebrated as a gay woman.

My friend Russell was introduced to Victor as a possible companion by his friend Johnny Beard. Johnny and Victor knew each other from their days in Ohio. In turn, Russell introduced me to Victor. While Russell and Victor were never lovers, they were friends and traveling companions for many years.

When we meet Victor, he lived in North Hollywood. His first of three novels, released by St. Martin’s Press, was weeks away from hitting the book stores. The contract with St. Martin’s Press was for a staggering 1,000,000.00!! Okay, remember that was in the early ’80s. Boy, did we have fun!  Cruising around in a 1980 Lincoln Town Car, which drove like a boat, could pack in a gaggle of gays, and include Jennie and Prima, Victor’s two large dogs.

We referred to Victor’s house as the Disneyland for young gay kids. It was mostly young men, but I was lucky and included in the devil-was-there-weekends at Victor’s. He was an amazing chef. We were spoiled on lavishly laid out meals that always started with a little wine, a little coke, a few hits off of a joint, and Marie Callas blaring in the foreground. Victor, as any diva, would enter the dining room in a blaze of frenzy and giggles, as he presented the main course. It was a grand entrance signaling the start of a grander show.

Sunday brunches at the Carriage Trade were a religious experience. The atmosphere was beyond gay! For a couple of young kids from the San Fernando Valley, walking through a restaurant that was clearly full of gay boys and girls was heavenly. We were bewildered, slightly hungover, and unabashedly gay! It was glorious. Victor and his friend, Sam Dodson, were known by many and there was a steady stream of pretties that passed by our table, nodding, and winking. We were all at our cattiest best.

After brunch, we usually collapsed in his living room lounging on a chocolate brown 10-piece sectional sofa, listening to Victor read out loud; Tennessee Williams, Summerset Maugham, Dorothy Parker, and Victor’s own work.

His novel This Splendid Earth (1978), tells the story of Baron Jean de Brussac and his bride, Anne de Grenville leaving Paris in 1830 to forge a wine-growing empire in the lush, rolling hills of distant California. If this sounds like an old TV show, Falcon’s Crest, Victor would tell you that he pitched This Splendid Earth to a TV Producer. Shortly after, Falcon Crest (1981) became a hit show on CBS. Having worked in Hollywood, I believe him.

Another passion of Victor’s was old movies. We would watch endless hours of Bette Davis in All About Eve, Norma Shearer in The Women, Gloria Swanson in Sunset Boulevard (and that yummy William Holden, Victor’s words not mine). Marilyn, Joan, Gary, Henry, Katherine, Bogart, and Bacall –  we knew them all by their first names. 

Who Is Killing the Great Chefs of Europe? caused such an uproar, we would stop the movie halfway through and head towards the kitchen. I don’t think we ever saw the entire movie. Victor had a grand way of looking at life. His idea of a survival kit was a bottle of Dom Perignon and a tin of Russian caviar. Upon learning that Russell and I had never savored the taste of caviar, Sam and Victor decided that was high time we learn a thing or two about fancy livin’… As only Victor and Sam could do, the fanfare over caviar and champagne almost made you forget you were eating fish eggs!

Sam had a three-story apartment in Studio City. I guess you could say three and a half if you counted the sunken living room. It was like something you had never seen before! I remember walking into his home for the first time and swearing that one day I would have one just like his. I’m still waiting!

Like all fairy tales, pun intended, time, money, and general tolerance for each other ran thin.

Tempers flared, boyfriends cheated, lies and secrets got the best of us.  Behind closed doors, AIDS was the nightmare and all the drinking and snorting wasn’t going to wish it away.  Johnny Beard was the first gay boy I knew who died of AIDS. I didn’t even know what it was. I learned fast when the plague took my childhood friend Daniel. A loss of many to come.

As things started to unravel, Russell and Victor got a cabin in Big Bear, and from Big Bear, a place in Palm Springs, then back to Big Bear. Eventually, the boys ended up in San Francisco and from there parted ways.

Several years ago, I found him on Facebook.  He still had an audience and enjoyed writing daily posts. On January 2nd, 2019, Victor posted what seems like a simple cooking tip: “If you’re fond of grilled cheese sandwiches, here’s a tip – instead of waiting for the butter to soften so you can spread it on the sides that meet the skillet, spread them instead with mayonnaise – you’ll get a lovely golden toast.”

For me, it was the essence of who he was. Take something simple, change the story, and jazz it up. And, no, the finished sandwich does not taste of mayo but don’t ask me to explain that.

Victor lived his life and traveled the world. I reaped the benefits from the stories he told and the words he wrote. I’m a better person for having had him in my life. So, to my old friend, I say, “May you always have good books, good wine, and good friends.”

Cheers! and Proud 

In Memoriam:

In the early part of April my companion Eli, passed on his own, crossing over the Rainbow Bridge. Before he made his transition, I told him how much I loved him, and I would be fine. I lied. The hole in my heart and in my life is deep. But more than that, I know his spirit is free, that he is soaring and frolicking with those who greeted him.

About Heidi:

Maintaining the belief that life is best enjoyed with humor and a seven-second delay, Heidi relies on Mother Nature for the morning news, her animals to keep her responsible, and good friends to check her socks to make sure they match.  She is currently with Reveal Studio in Glendale, California as a Project Manager.

Love Potion No. 9 by Heidi Hirsch

In 1959 a single titled, Love Potion No. 9 was released by The Clovers.

The song describes a man seeking help to find love, so he goes to visit Madame Rue who decides, by means of palmistry, that he needs Love Potion No. 9. 

As we approach Valentine’s Day, it seems natural to whip up a batch of Love Potion No. 9. According to the lyrics, the only thing we know about the love potion is that it was made in a sink, smelled like turpentine, and looked like India ink. If it is anything like the brew my doctor in Chinatown prescribes, I think it’s best we revise the potion with a few changes and eliminate the turpentine!

Introducing the updated version of Love Potion No. 9

List of ingredients:

1.   Start each day with an attitude of enthusiasm!

2.  Sing out LOUD, at the top of your lungs…even if it’s off key.

3.   Laugh. Just Laugh. You don’t have to have a reason.

4.  Believe in miracles and watch what happens.

Miracles are all around you.

5.   Exercise your empowerment. “No” is a full sentence.

6.   Try something you’ve always wanted to do but have come up with excuses not to. I have reason to believe that once you do it, you’ll wonder what took you so long.

7.  Treat yourself to a treat! Indulge! Buy a comic book, go to the movies mid-day, get a manicure and a pedicure. And while you’re at it, get a lottery ticket!

8.   Look for the whimsey. don’t Let “serious” get the best of you.

9.   Be creative! Write a Valentine to that special person with crayons (it doesn’t have to be Valentine’s Day – Make a special day of your own!) Then give them a box of crayons as a present! 

10.   Every so often, steer away from routine. Veer off the beaten path. So you get lost, you can never tell what you might find.

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11.   And most of all, sprinkle everything you do with love!

Instructions:

Repeat as often as needed.  All or any combination is advisable.  

Warning:  This potion has not been approved by the FDA. That’s because you can’t put a price on it. Too much consumption will be addicting. Go for it!  You should be aware that too much love could result in compassion, joy, finding humor in everyday activities, a sense of true balance, muscle tightness from smiling, and a lot of people that just want to around you!  

If you are looking for a good suggestion to start off No.2, I suggest you click on the link below and sing along at the top of you lungs to Love Potion No. 9

https://youtu.be/UetLHzk1T-I

Happy Valentine’s Day!  

With love and as always, 

Proud

About Heidi:

Maintaining the belief that life is best enjoyed with humor and a seven second delay, Heidi relies on Mother Nature for the morning news, her animals to keep her responsible, and good friends to check her socks to make sure they match.  She is currently with Reveal Studio in Glendale, California as a Project Manager.

Moments of 2018

2018 has been a year of change for our nation and our community.  Our diversity has brought us together and made us strong. We gathered, we roared, and we blew in the winds of progress.  

Now, the holiday season is upon us and it’s time to celebrate, to reflect, and  to forgive. Let go of ideas that no longer serve us. Let go of thoughts that hold us back and keep us from moving forward. Empty the baggage and create room to gather the good.  

For me, this has been a year of moments. And as I look back, it is the simple ones that have had the most impact.

And so, before we rush into the New Year, my wish for you is the joy of moments.  Maybe the ones I share with you from 2018 will find their way into your world in days to come:

     The satisfaction I felt with the last brush of paint. I actually finished a project!

     Catching the rays of the sun shinning on Elijah one morning. Bathing my boy in golden light and love.

     When the lights go down and the music starts! Thank you “Dear Evan Hanson,” You Will Be Found.

     The birth of my cousin Oliver, the first child in our family to be born in California since, well, since I was born!

     The moment when another soul trusted me. It’s humbling.

     When I puttered the day away in my pajamas and time became meaningless.

     When a simple act of friendship touched me in a way that rocked my spirit.

     Turning into the driveway of my home, the house where I was raised. I am safe, I am warm, I am blessed.

     The moment when I released my frustrated grip and let the universe finish the sentence.

     Every moment I laugh. Every moment I tear. Every moment I feel. Connecting those moments creates who I am.

In gratitude, Elijah and I wish you the very best of the holiday season!  I thank you for the privilege of sharing my thoughts and our world. I am optimistic about the coming New Year.

Happy Holidays!

Prideful moments.

About Heidi:

Maintaining the belief that life is best enjoyed with humor and a seven second delay, Heidi relies on Mother Nature for the morning news, her animals to keep her responsible, and good friends to check her socks to make sure they match.  She is currently with Reveal Studio in Glendale, California as a Project Manager.

I live with an old man 

And he lives with an old lady.

His name is Elijah. 

Like most old men, he is proud, stubborn, belches, can silently stink up a room and act like it was someone else, and I am madly, passionately, crazy in love with him.

We met at the Los Angeles North Central Shelter in May of 2007. I’m a sucker for redheads.  Actually to be exact, a red tricolored Australian Shepherd.  At the time the shelter guesstimated Eli to be 4-5 years. I guess that makes him about 15-16.

Through the years, we have gotten used to each others ways. He’s not much for that mushy stuff, which I miss, but he’s a man and apparently he sees that as a bit girly. He has a self-proclaimed job to always be alert and on guard. Smoochy stuff just gets in the way.

He takes his job seriously, protecting his house, his mother, and his car. There have been several occasions where he’s taking that protection a bit too far and I’ve had to replace some jeans and apologize profusely. There was that time when he went after my friend Kathy’s leather jacket. That bite stung my wallet!

These days I’m the one that stays alert and always on guard to make sure he’s safe. Eli has signs of dementia. While I’m pretty sure I still have my wits about me, it’s a bit concerning when we both end up in the same room, at the same time, wondering why  we’re there, and what did we come into the room for.

We have grown older together merging our patterns to keep an eye out for each other.

I’ll wander into the living room every morning to check and see if he is still breathing. He comes into the bedroom and checks to see if I’m still breathing. It’s an unspoken silent courtesy.

With my coffee, and his snacks, we go outside to check on the birds, the squirrels, the koi, and mother nature in general. While I’m contemplating my day, he’s contemplating when and where to do his business. After awhile, we head back into the house. I help him get up the steps. Elijah has a ramp which he goes down, but he won’t go up.

Under his watchful eye from his bed in the kitchen, I prepare his breakfast as he stars me down as if I might skimp on his meal. He has a good appetite and loves his treats.  As I said, we have similar traits.

I recently put him through an MRI.  It wasn’t an easy decision but I couldn’t live with myself watching him labor to walk and not knowing why and more importantly, blindly making decisions about his health with medication.  As it turns out, there is an annoying disc that makes his walking difficult. I want to fix him but won’t put him through surgery.  

So, I’m on a mission! Cold laser therapy, CPD oils, and pain killers. The pain killers are for me.

My vet says getting older is not a disease, nice to know.

I wish the same could be said about us humans.

I know that Eli is winding down and I am gearing up. I am fierce about my “first kiss to last breath” commitment. Each day Elijah and I greet the morning with thanks to the universe for another joyous opportunity to share our lives together. So, maybe he doesn’t verbalize it, but I know. Elijah has taught me about life and how to enjoy it through love and kindness.

Eat, sleep, belch, fart, wag your tail, take naps, express excitement over your friends, always stay near to your loved ones, protect with passion, make noisy greetings, never turn down a treat, always say thank you —ok, we’re still working on that—nudge your affection, no need to get mushy, remember that actions will always speak louder than barking, and when it’s all said and done, there ain’t nothin’ like a ride in the car and frozen yogurt!

Crazy in love and proud 

About Heidi:

Maintaining the belief that life is best enjoyed with humor and a seven second delay, Heidi relies on Mother Nature for the morning news, her animals to keep her responsible, and good friends to check her socks to make sure they match.  She is currently with Reveal Studio in Glendale, California as a Project Manager.

A Deeply Personal Decision 

We recently lost two well know celebrities — Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain. 

Rich, famous, trend-setters, jet-setters, loving families, children — they had everything! What else could they want? Maybe it had nothing to do with want.  We’ll probably never really know. What we do know is that they both decided to turn out their lights.

In a statement from Kate Spade’s sister, “Kate suffered from mental health issues and felt under pressure to maintain a ‘happy-go-lucky’ image which prevented her from seeking help ahead of her apparent suicide.” She was also aware that her sister had been self-medicating with alcohol.

Anthony Bourdain carried a lifetime of demons. He suffered from drug addiction and depression. In a 2017 interview with The Guardian, Bourdain spoke briefly of his “psychotic rage” saying, “I was an unhappy soul… I hurt, disappointed, and offended many, many, many people, and I regret a lot. It’s a shame I have to live with. I feel kind of like a freak and I feel kind of isolated.” It wasn’t the only time he hinted at the darkness.

We have a serious epidemic in our society when it comes to determining the value of our lives. Because we care about what others think of us, too many lives are sacrificed because of external circumstances, such as hostility, discrimination, and judgment of others.

I can’t begin to comprehend the process of letting go of one’s life, but this I do know, it is a deeply personal decision and far too often it is based on external evaluations. 

You are a unique individual. It is not the right of others to ever define, decide, or influence who you are. The truth of who you are is within. We are relentlessly  riddled by the opinion of others — families, friends, school mates, coworkers, people we work for, and even strangers. I was once told by an employer that my value didn’t warrant my salary and that she really couldn’t understand why I was there and had to pay me. I knew my value and walked away. 

We are bombarded with demands and criteria for establishing value. People are happy to tell you — that your hair is the wrong color, your teeth aren’t pearly sparkling white, you’re too fat, too thin, the list goes on. A friend of mine quit going to a manicurist because at every appointment she was told she looked like she was gaining weight. WHAT THE HELL?? 

The popular communication outlets are a cesspool of contradictions, they’re programs run by fears and “cures”. You can purchase drugs to make you thin, night creams that will make you youthful, pills to grow more hair, treatments to remove unwanted hair. There’s a pill for impotence and another to keep your joints fluid. 

All of these things address the external and warp the concept of our value. There’s nothing that addresses your inner world — on how to be authentically yourself and the miracle of your life. My bet is that the profit margin for that wouldn’t yield a substantial payout.

As we look to our community, we are facing our own uphill battle among members of our family. Many of us have dealt with bullying, hate, discrimination, religious back-lash, and family rejection.  

According to The Trevor Project:  https://www.thetrevorproject.org/

• Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death among young people ages 10 to 24.
• LGBT youth seriously contemplates suicide at almost three times the rate of heterosexual youth.

• In a national study, 40% of transgender adults reported having made a suicide attempt. 92% of these individuals reported having attempted suicide before the age of 25.

• LGBT youth who come from highly rejecting families are 8.4 times as likely to have attempted suicide as LGBT peers who reported no or low levels of family rejection.

• Each episode of LGBT victimization, such as physical abuse or verbal harassment, increases the likelihood of self-harming behavior by 2.5 times on average.

As a community, we are getting stronger everyday, pushing back against those hostile to us. Our strength can be used to reach out to all that feel the dark cloud. No one should be alone if the light starts to dim.

If you or someone you know is showing signs of self abuse or suffering in a harmful relationship, personal, or professional — please turn to others for help. Don’t turn out your light. You are a gift.

Please know that you are precious. 

Holding your Light dear and Proud

For more information on suicide prevention and help:

https://www.thetrevorproject.org/

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Questioning (LGBTQ) Suicide Hotline (the Trevor Lifeline): 1-866-488-7386 (available 24 hours a day, seven days a week)TrevorChat online chat: http://www.thetrevorproject.org/pages/get-help-now (Available 7 days a week (3:00 p.m. – 9:00 p.m. ET / 12:00 p.m. – 6:00 p.m. PT).)TrevorText text messaging: Text the word “Trevor” to 1-202-304-1200 (Available on Fridays (4:00 p.m. – 8:00 p.m. ET / 1:00 p.m. – 5:00 p.m. PT)The Trevor Project website: 

National Suicide prevention Lifeline- 1-800-273-8255

On Twitter:

https://twitter.com/800273TALK

Teen suicide hotline (Thursday’s Child National Youth Advocacy Hotline): 1-800-USA-KIDS (872-5437) (available 24 hours a day, seven days a week)

The veterans suicide hotline (Veterans Crisis Line): 1-800-273-8255, press 1 or text to 838255 (available 24 hours a day, seven days a week)

Befrienders Worldwide: http://www.befrienders.org/need-to-talk

About Heidi:

Maintaining the belief that life is best enjoyed with humor and a seven second delay, Heidi relies on Mother Nature for the morning news, her animals to keep her responsible, and good friends to check her socks to make sure they match.  She is currently with Reveal Studio in Glendale, California as a Project Manager.

The Greatest Show from Earth!

Spring is a big Hollywood movie opening with a splashy, glamour, glittering premiere.

Oh the anticipation, the excitement, the stars, the starlets with their mysterious escorts.

And the fans, wow! What an event!

Executive Producer: 

Mother Nature

This gal is an old pro.  She knows this production and has it down to the tiniest of details.

Cast of Characters:

Our Leading Lady –

My Wisteria, or what I refer to as my “20 Minutes of Beauty”, is a bit of a recluse and only comes out for a brief appearance for green carpet premieres.

Her blossoms appear, flourish, and then as quickly as they appear, she vanishes.  While she’s here, she is breathtaking. We clamor to catch a sight of her beauty before she vanishes. 

The Handsome Hero –

The Macadamia tree.

My father brought it back from Hawaii, long before it was banned, a small seeding, which today is over 30 feet high. The tree has stood in our backyard for over 50 years.  The smell of the blossoms is intoxicating. The harvest this year will be exceptional, and, as always, the squirrels will reap the bounty as they know just when the nuts are ready to eat. The ground will be covered with shells mocking me with their superior intellect and agile ability to jump from branch to branch, pelting the discarded remains of their morning feast.

The Starlet! –

Indigo Ruby

Nothing starts the excitement of Spring time like a visit to a Tomato-mania extravaganza. Events all over Southern California showcasing more than 300 heirloom and hybrid tomato varieties for sale —  http://tomatomania.com  If you are a tomato freak, this is where you will spend way too much money buying tomato plants. This year’s beauty is Indigo Ruby, rich in deep purple and the pride of any garden.

The Villain –

The Tomato Hornworm

This fella feeds on the leaves and stems of tomato plants.  A villain disguised as an attentive escort. blending in so not take the spotlight away from the lovely ingénue.  But watch out! This Manduca Quinquemaculata can take a tomato down leaving her bare, weak, and exposed to the harshness of the fickle fans. Unique patterns makes this worm hard to find among the branches and leaves but beware, he can damage your crop overnight.

The Fans –

The Birds, the Squirrels, and Butterflies!

They love you as long as you feed them. Let them down and away they go. There is nothing like a disgusted squirrel that is irritated that the peanuts have arrived later than usual.  Squirrels glare and they flick their tails with an air of entitlement.  I remind them I, am the provider of their dining pleasure. This means nothing to them!

The Audience –

The interesting thing about Spring is, while we see ourselves as the audience, we are, in fact, members of the cast.  Our authentic selves move with the cycle of nature. Spring is our best growing season.  It seems most of our best laid plans, during the winter, flourish.  It is the season of our “bulbs” .

To me, thoughts are a lot like bulbs.You plant thoughts, place them in the hands of the universe to nurture them, affirm that they are germinating and then let them go!

Oh sure, who am I kidding?

We grow impatient. Where is the outcome of my thoughts?

What happened?  I can’t see any changes.  Nothing is happening, maybe it’s not meant to be.  If I can’t see them, then I guess I failed.

And just when you think all is lost, BAM! There it is, a slightly raised indication that something is happening!  And there before you is the most magnificent outcome of simple affirmations. Just because you can’t see the germination, it doesn’t mean it’s not there. Trust.  Don’t let go. Believe!

Mother Nature the greatest Mistress of our Earth.  I am grateful for my seasonal pass and lucky to have a front row seat every morning.

Enjoy the Spring of your life!   

Dazzled and Proud.

About Heidi:

As an amateur observer of the human race, Heidi is a self-appointed documentarian of life’s little quirks and how to stumble through them with humor.

Ordinary People

Recently, I witnessed a miracle. I almost missed it because I was looking and hoping for a different outcome. What I realized is that miracles don’t often appear accompanied by a professional studio band, award-winning special effects, or highly regarded actors interpreting well written scripts.

On Wednesday, February 5th at 3:55 AM, Sammy, the daughter of my friend, Andrea, passed away at age 23.

Sammy had cystic fibrosis and for 23 years Andrea championed as only a mother would. We kept hoping for a miracle, that Divine intervention would step in and revitalize Sammy’s lungs, making her strong. That was not to be.

Sammy knew she was dying, but that didn’t stop her. She wore a T-Shirt that read “I’m not dead yet.” This vibrant, sassy, quick witted, no bullshit, this-will-not-get-in-my-way, kid with chutzpah, tenacity, and a determination to live life to the fullest, no matter the limited time, did just that. She lived her life everyday as a miracle.

The truth is, we humans are not ordinary. We are extraordinary in every way. We are quite remarkable and yet we find it hard to believe or understand that we are, by the very nature of being alive, a miracle. So, is it possible that the repetition of extraordinary becomes ordinary and “miracles” have the heavy task of being astounding to be noticed?

We were so busy with our expectation of what a miracle is supposed to be that the miracle, a petite, hauntingly striking young girl with eyes of wisdom, appearing to be frail and fatigued at times, showed us that life is a miracle, and every minute, every breath, is an extraordinary gift.

Each and every one of us is a part of life. We reveal the miracle within us through our expressions and experiences as human beings. Those of us who were lucky to know Sammy, realize that her gift to us is a reminder to live life like there is no tomorrow, to be in the now, and be grateful for what we have.

Samantha Randall Cassidy’s philosophy—Live your life, you are the Miracle! Wake up everyday greeting the world with the attitude, “Hi ya world! Your miracle just woke up!”

Sammy, we got it. We got our miracle, the one we were suppose to see. Your light here will never be extinguished. And if by chance, we lose our way, we need only to look within and remember, you were a miracle here. I see you as a star and I thank you for your light.

A miracle and proud

About Heidi:

As an amateur observer of the human race, Heidi is a self-appointed documentarian of life’s little quirks and how to stumble through them with humor.

A Tree Falls in Burbank

This week a friendship went south, I was informed that an old colleague still harbored resentment towards me. I was the target of a strong dose of good old white boy bullying and one of my trees in the backyard fell.

What upset me the most was the falling of my tree. The tree stood in my yard for the past 40+ years. My father planted it. Actually, he grafted two fruit trees together, and they became intertwined and produced fruit right up until last year. The recent rain took it’s toil and down came the tree.

I’m stubborn, I refuse to let the tree go. My backyard is my secret garden. It’s where I spend my morning time, reading, sketching, drinking coffee, and watching mother nature wake up.

The tree is the center hub of activity. The squirrels scurry around searching for the peanuts I have placed in various branches and nooks. I watch with glee their antics. Squirrels are like people or vis a versa. Hoarding, scrabbling, flying through the air, chattering all for the glory of the prized peanut.

The tree creates a wonderful balance to the yard. If I take it out, what will it look like? How can I replace it? Where will I hide the peanuts for the squirrels? I’m afraid the yard won’t look the same. It will look bare and empty. I will know that the tree stood there and it will always be a vacant space to me.

And, more importantly, how many more excuses can I come up with until I stop vamping and get to the root (yeah, I said it) of the fear.

I know that the real reason is that letting go of the tree is letting go of my father. It’s the emotional impact that scares me the most. My father has been gone now for over 20 years and while many of his imprints in my life are still vibrant, it was the love of this garden that impacts me the most.

As the emotion of letting go has gained strength, it is the strength of this emotion that has moved me to a place of passage. In letting go, I have chosen to renew. I have decided to accept the death of the tree, not that of my father and to carry on as my father would. In the Spring, I will plant two fruit trees. Intertwining them as my father would and creating a new tribute to him and in doing so, create new life as he did.

What about the friendship? I don’t know. It is too soon to define the demise. Maybe too, like that of the tree, it will find new life in a different direction. Guess time will tell.

Then there is the awareness of harbored resentment. I owned that for about 20 minutes. Enough said.

And finally, good old boy bullying. Trust me, THAT won’t happen again.

Stuff happens. Stuff will continue to happen. It’s called life. Ya got two choices, run from it or live it!

Living it and Proud!

About Heidi:

As an amateur observer of the human race, Heidi is a self-appointed documentarian of life’s little quirks and how to stumble through them with humor.

Well That Was Fun

As we close 2017, it is time for my favorite ritual of the year.

The Gratitude List (not necessarily in this order):

• I won the Hamilton Lottery and saw the show!  Yeah, that was pretty cool!
• I only lost my house and car keys twice!  Ok, maybe a few times more but I stopped counting after the second time.
• I still believe that we are breathtaking in our spirit to embrace the future with anticipation and sheer glee!
• I am in awe of those around me who have healed from major health issues and humbled by their tenacity.
• Graced with the love of family and friends, I am blessed.
• Mother Nature is one powerful broad, but so are we.
• We are resilient as ever, fueled by the power within.
• That patience has it’s merit if you can wait it out.
• I’m not in the habit of quoting Disney movies but if it’s not working for you, let it go!  You can’t move forward if you are holding onto junk from your past. Fear of the unknown is a waste of time.  Embrace the adventure!

During this holiday season in which gifts are exchanged, give yourself one.  I have always had a love/fear relationship with horses.  I think they are magnificent.  To be one with a horse seems incredible to me.  Unfortunately, my experience has been not-so-fun in the past.  My gift to myself this year is the choice to take lessons and shift from fear to fearless.  I promise to share my journey with you in the coming year.

So, as we wrap up 2017 and look towards 2018, I believe that my friend and author, Dr. Carol Bliss sums it up best.  “If enough of us believe in hope, love, and peace, we can form a critical mass that is unstoppable.  We can return to the values that we believe in, despite what the world looks like now.  We can do anything we choose to bring those ethical values back into society again.  We, the people, can bring about a world that works for all.  

A world that values all people.  A world in which all are included and invited to dine at the banquet of all the good things life has to offer.  Where the strong help the weak and the powerless are unafraid to speak their truth.  A world where there is a sharing of resources.  This can be our collective vision of a world that is coming”.

Now that I think about it, I’m good with 2017 and ready for 2018!

Wishing you all a very enchanting holiday season.

Proud.

About Heidi:

As an amateur observer of the human race, Heidi is a self-appointed documentarian of life’s little quirks and how to stumble through them with humor.

Power Tools

Full disclaimer!  This is not about Power Tools. It’s about power tools.

Having established that our nation is in turmoil, or as I like to refer to it as a tempête de merde, we must not lose sight that we have the power to create rewarding lives regardless of the turbulence around us.

I thought it best to dust off our power tools and remind us all that we are unique, vibrant and dazzling creations and we have within us the ability to thrive.

Throughout your life, you are constantly gathering new “tools”.  And as life presents itself, we will often look to those tools to either fix a situation or create an opportunity.

Making successful changes in your life include three significant power tools: Mistakes, Failures and Ignorance.  You don’t often hear those three words associated with success. The truth is that powerful life changing decisions can be found by recognizing the message in each of these.

We can utilize these tools everyday to move forward in our lives.  Creating our dreams into reality and our challenges into amazing accomplishments.

I believe that mistakes are guides. It’s all in how you see it.  Most of us move forward in a direction that at the time seems right.  When it appears that we have made what we refer to as a mistake, we have decided that it was the wrong thing to have done.  The key word is appears.  Mistakes are like colors!  Not everybody sees it in the same way. What if, instead of looking at the outcome as a mistake, we see it as a guide that simply signifies a change in the direction?  What if we looked at it as a positive move in the right direction instead of a negative failure?

Which brings me to failures.  One of the greatest failures of all times was the invention of the electric light.  As an inventor, Thomas Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb. When a reporter asked, “How did it feel to fail 1,000 times?” Edison replied, “I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.”

I have experienced the joy of failure many times.  In that failure, I can see other options on how to solve the issue.  So it didn’t work this time.  Just because I tried one way, it doesn’t mean that I can’t achieve my goal.  Try another!  Keep going! The next step just might be the answer!

My favorite of the three is ignorance.
Ignorance is usually associated with negative.  The ignorance of many has led to great misconceptions and volatile situations. Again, what if we looked at ignorance as a roadblock designed to prevent negative thought patterns encroaching into your pursuits and achievements.
I recently read a quote from William Hutchison Murray on ignorance.
“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves, too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.”

Never could I imagine the power of ignorance in this way. Yet, if we pursue a new path with wonder and excitement, instead of fear and hesitancy, old programing and old voices that echo defeat will disappear. Every moment of our lives is new!  Why take old programing with us that jeopardize that? Can you imagine the countless new adventures and experiences furthered by ignorance?

Grab those power tools and remember that mistakes are guides. Failures are steps and ignorance is a tool to success!  It will only bring you closer to your new you!

Ignorant and Proud.

About Heidi:

As an amateur observer of the human race, Heidi is a self-appointed documentarian of life’s little quirks and how to stumble through them with humor.

This is your Captain speaking . . .

“Please fasten your seat belts and remain in your seats.  We seem to be experiencing a little turbulence.”  A little turbulence? I would say we are in the middle of a tempête de merde.

The flood gates have opened up both literally and figuratively.  What is daunting is that both mother nature and America are bursting at the seams simultaneously.

In November, we were punched in the stomach.  In the past few months, mother nature got herself into a hissy fit cursing us with floods, hurricanes and fires!   And now, finally, the Casting Couch of Hollywood has been exposed for what it is.

Yes, this is all quite daunting but not surprising.  If we take a good look at this chaotic cluster, we see that these patterns have been played out in history time and time again.  And in each case, this marks the decline of current societies and the rising of new ideals.

Over the last few decades, the movement to break out of the status quo has gained extraordinary momentum.  More than ever before, people of all walks of life, color, origins and lifestyle orientations have stood up and demanded the right to live their lives in celebration without hiding.

A steady migration away from ignorance to education has resulted in a powerful new group of leaders championing for our rights. Pushing forward, challenging “just the way it is” to “not anymore.”  The stronger we got, the louder we got.

Sounds great right?

Yes, except that the roaring nouveau wave of freedom meant completely drowning out the cries of the white working class. They don’t give a damn about rebuilding our inter-cities, don’t really care how you grab a woman, sure as hell don’t want homosexual marriages and believe that all Mexicans should be on the other side of the wall.  That American is out to make it clear, white lives matter and they are done with all this ethnic crap.  What we have in the Gray House is the frustration and anger of the ignored American.

The push to make “Make America Great Again” is to restore the values and morals of the puritanical elitist that controlled our communities and the definition of a great  America.  The irony in all of this is that those behind this movement were considered outcast and beneath the very values of the high society that they are now pushing to reinstate.

So, while those Americans are racing towards defeat fighting for the good old days, we must stand firm through the turbulence to keep what we have from unraveling.  Our leaders and heroes who have worked so hard to get us here know that this is just the beginning of our rise.  Now it is our responsibility to join them in unity, to protect their accomplishments.

How? Never let go of the truth.  You are of great value.  No one can take that away from you.  Your rights are greater than the laws that were put in place to deny them.  We challenged those laws and now the stone pillars of discrimination are crumbling. It is just that simple, stay true.  But make no mistake, it is going to be a hell of a ride.

Fasten your seat belts, we seem to be experiencing a little turbulence.

Fastened in and Proud.

About Heidi:
As an amateur observer of the human race, Heidi is a self-appointed documentarian life’s little quirks and how to stumble through them with humor.

Maintaining that belief has brought her to that golden age of early-bird specials, senior discounts, and the VIP-AARP card.
When she isn’t acting as the arbiter of lesbian fashion, Heidi is a
professional in the themed entertainment industry. As a Project Manager, her projects include the recently opened Motiongate & Bollywood theme parks in Dubai. Currently she is working on a new theme park in an undisclosed location in the Middle East.

Always on the lookout for new adventures, Heidi enjoys building Free Libraries and is currently co-developing an on-line directory for the themed entertainment industry.

Closet Doors by Heidi Hirsch

Some of us open the door quietly.
Some start with unlocking the door and hoping a sudden burst of exhaled breath will swing the door open. Some bulldoze the door open, break the hinges off the frame, taking the closet door with them! Others use the closet to hang the gowns. No matter how you do it, the closet door has opened.

Now what?

Now that the fanfare has died down and hopefully most of the family members are still speaking to you, it’s time to venture out.

Trusting that there are a few people in your life that all ready knew (even before you did) and are willing to join you on this new path, it’s time to gather the crew and define your new self.

Sure would be nice to have a guide, something to get the ball rolling. Maybe a check list to follow. Well, it just so happens that I recently stumbled on my old scrapbook titled, It’s About Time and discovered a few solid leads to help you get started on your way.

I have outlined the five basic identities with a few characteristics that will help set your course. For those of you that have already flung that door open years ago, I hope you find this amusing and somewhat accurate. As always, I welcome comments and additions to my observations.

Fluctuating
Maybe I am, maybe I’m not! Yes, you came out of the closet but maybe it was a bit too soon. For you, the closet door is more like a revolving door. I’m out..I’m in…I’m out— you get the idea. Not gay with the family but very gay with friends. Gay when there is a festive protest, the yearly parade, a new restaurant opened by a questionable celebrity, or a new movie with gay sex scenes you’ve got to see but your steady beard has a previous engagement and you have no excuse as to why you are desperate to go. Oh sure, then you’re gay!

Artistic License
I am an artist, therefore I am what I am…when I am not what you think, I am what I really am when I am not as I am. Oh good God! You figure it out. I got exhausted after the first I am.

Social Diva
There is a private party in West Hollywood next Saturday that is “Gay Only.” You are sooo gay then. How else are you going to get into the hottest bash of the decade?! If you are out, you’re “in.” You are a Saturday night Belle of the Bars and a Sunday Brunch choir boy at Hamburger Mary’s. Monday mornings, you straighten up and get your butch on.

Politically Correct
Yikes! This is the most challenging and intense state of gay. Every aspect of your life is defined by being gay. You are GAY!!!!! It is not for the weak and timid. You walk, you talk, you eat, you sleep, you dress and glee gay! You are a 24/7 update on the ever-evolving world of gay. A watchdog. We need you!

Somewhere On The List
There are many elements that define you. Your sexuality is one of them along with a gazillion others. As exciting as the Social Diva sounds, most of us are the typical guy or gal on the street. We stand in line at Starbucks, complain about the rising cost of gas, honk the horn at the driver in front of us because they won’t get off the phone, clip coupons, dream of tropical vacations or fancy sports cars and later on wonder how our 401K is doing and how soon can we retire!

And that is me!
Standing in line at Starbucks, still dreaming of that fancy sports car, dreaming of my tropical vacation and wishing my 401K would pick up the pace!

How you come out really doesn’t matter as long as you are proud of who you are and stand tall.

Let’s celebrate October 11th – National Coming Out Day!

Aloha and Proud!

About Heidi:
As an amateur observer of the human race, Heidi is a self-appointed documentarian life’s little quirks and how to stumble through them with humor.

Maintaining that belief has brought her to that golden age of early-bird specials, senior discounts, and the VIP-AARP card.

When she isn’t acting as the arbiter of lesbian fashion, Heidi is a
professional in the themed entertainment industry. As a Project Manager, her projects include the recently opened Motiongate & Bollywood theme parks in Dubai. Currently, she is working on a new theme park in an undisclosed location in the Middle East.

Always on the lookout for new adventures, Heidi enjoys building Free Libraries and is currently co-developing an online directory for the themed entertainment industry.

Sticks and Stones by Heidi Hirsch

Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.
Like hell they won’t.

Many of you will be returning to school in the next few weeks. While on summer vacation, the epidemic of bullying has risen to an all time high and taken residency in the highest office in the United States. While the First Lady has vowed to take on the battle against bullying, she has yet to issue a statement concerning her approach or demonstrated her solution starting with home base.

Unfortunately the educational system is a breeding ground for this type of behavior and, in the past, has had a weak backbone when dealing with this ever-increasing sport. There are experts that have offered many solutions to combating Bullies. The problem is that there isn’t a standard format to “Bullying.” According to www.stopbullying.gov , it is important to properly label the children involved in the bullying situation. Instead of calling a child a “bully,” refer to them as “the child who bullied.” Instead of calling a child a “victim,” refer to them as “the child who was bullied.”

You have got to be kidding me. I have my own definition of a bully and sadly it’s inappropriate to define it here.

We all have to deal with these creatures. Not just in school but in our everyday lives

Most of us have had years of experience and practice in dealing with the insecurity of others that appears to be the root of most bullying. We have developed the appearance of a thick skin yet continue to feel the sting every time.

While most of the attention is focused on the bullied, the issue is very much two sided.

At some point in time, we have all been a bully. Bullying is defined as unwanted, aggressive behavior that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. You might not realize it nor was it intentional, but it probably happened. You see, as aggressive as the bully is to you, you can be just as aggressive in your response.

Quite frankly, when I have been bullied, I don’t give a damn whether my response is unwanted aggressive behavior. I will attack back.

I recently experienced a bully situation and when I fired back, the recipient of my wrath was stunned at my response. Her face looked like a re-make of Gloria Swanson coming in for a close up.

Like any of the self-help books, everybody has an answer that seemed to work for them. There is no single answer on how to overcome bullying. Therefore, each one of us must find our own way to stand up to the bullies.

What we do know is that bullies are only as active as their support base is encouraging. Meaning the less we encourage and support them, the less fuel they have to continue. Bullies are only as powerful as their audience. The good news is there is an increased popularity of anti-bully campaigns and the participation in bullying has finally shifted from cool to uncool.

There are organizations that address this epidemic. Schools have stepped up and have taken a hard fast rule against bullying. You do not have to suffer alone. Report this behavior. No, it isn’t easy, but there is support out there. I have listed a few organizations below.

Bullying is NOT EVER ok.
EVER.

Bullied and Proud

Sources:
www.thetrevorproject.org
www.thebullyproject.com
www.stopbullying.gov
www.stopbullyingnow.com
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255

About Heidi:
As an amateur observer of the human race, Heidi is a self-appointed documentarian life’s little quirks and how to stumble through them with humor.

Maintaining that belief has brought her to that golden age of early-bird specials, senior discounts, and the VIP-AARP card.

When she isn’t acting as the arbiter of lesbian fashion, Heidi is a
professional in the themed entertainment industry. As a Project Manager, her projects include the recently opened Motiongate & Bollywood theme parks in Dubai. Currently she is working on a new theme park in an undisclosed location in the Middle East.

Always on the lookout for new adventures, Heidi enjoys building Free Libraries and is currently co-developing an on-line directory for the themed entertainment industry.

Step One, We Heal.

The Gray House (the White House) is at it again!

As the chaotic storm continues to gain momentum, we, the LBQT community, have recently been the center of the rage, again.

The rationale is simple.  Go for the easiest target, divert the attention away from the real issue at hand, fire with the support of the fearful, and there you have it!

I am angry.  But my anger isn’t very productive.  Actually, the only thing it does is raise my blood pressure and increase my vulgarity vocabulary.  Great strides in our history have changed many lives including our own, through uproar and regretful violence.

The question is, what are you willing to do and what are you willing to lose?  Your life? Be assured, there are those that are willing to sacrifice their lives in the name of their beliefs.

I am equally determined to protect our rights to have fulfilling equal opportunity lives but, I will not perpetrate violence and commit acts of destruction.  What I will do is join my voice with those who are outraged and disgusted by this recent attempt to disguise blatant discrimination, with bogus conservative fiscal responsibility,  only intended to rally and churn up the masses.

As deep as this assault is on our family, we will heal.  And, as we heal, we regain our strength.  And as we regain our strength, we stand up.  And when we stand up, we inspire.  And when we inspire, we empower. And when empowerment is ignited, look out!

Empowerment is the best weapon against complacency and complacency is the culprit here.  To look the other way is the fuel that feeds those who attack others. It is our responsibility to stand up and inspire. We are a community with passionate empowerment to drown out the quick flares of manipulated outrage.  Inspiring others with our actions will always speak louder than words framed to incite.  It is the greatest gift we have to offer.

By the way, according to The Washington Post, the military spends five times as much on Viagra as it would on transgender troops’ medical care.  Apparently, men are better at fighting and defending our country when their apparatus is functioning at full capacity.

We rise, all of us.
Empowered and proud.

About Heidi:
As an amateur observer of the human race, Heidi is a self -appointed documentarian life’s little quirks and how to stumble through them with humor.

Maintaining that belief has brought her to that golden age of early-bird specials, senior discounts, and the VIP-AARP card.

When she isn’t acting as the arbiter of lesbian fashion, Heidi is a professional in the themed entertainment industry. As a Project Manager, her projects include the recently opened Motiongate & Bollywood theme parks in Dubai. Currently she is working on a new theme park in an undisclosed location in the Middle East.

Always on the lookout for new adventures, Heidi enjoys building Free Libraries and is currently co-developing an on-line directory for the themed entertainment industry.

Starting from Scratch by Heidi Hirsch

Stone Soup is an old folk story in which a hungry stranger convinces the people of a town to each share a small amount of their food to make a kettle of soup.

The stranger takes a stone and places it in a pot filled with water. Soon everybody in the town has contributed to the soup. Depending how you see it, the soup is either wonderful or a complete disaster.

If you look at the human experience, it’s a bit like stone soup.

As we go about the business of living, we accumulate.

A little wisdom, a few cuts and bruises, memories of fun times, of sad times, falling in love for the first time, roller coasters (the same thing as love), scary movies, hot buttered popcorn, chocolate ice cream, chocolate cookies, chocolate anything, out of control hormones, odd un-defined sensations, “As Seen On TV” products that NEVER work, an open account with QVC and maybe the best and worse of them all, other people’s opinions.

And, when you realize that your life maybe different from anybody you know, the first impact of that realization might be defined by or swayed by those opinions.

Being gay is not a choice.

Chances are you won’t wake up one bright and cheery morning and say, “Good Morning World, I think I’ll be gay today.” There are a few people out there that do that but it has something to do with their publicist and their twitter account.

Regardless, the choice you do have, is how you shape your world and the influences you embrace and the ones you push aside.

Growing up is a bitch.

Growing up gay takes a commitment to self for what you feel is your greater good. As you learn to embrace who you are, the challenge is to create your own Stone Soup recipe for your life. This is something only you can do. Only you know what is best for you.

If this is sounding like a public service announcement, it is. We, who have made it past the obstacles along the way, have a responsibility to reach out to our younger self and walk the path again only this time, with our gay youth.

We must sound louder and stronger drowning out those who choose to attack others while hiding behind a book or a belief that condemns.

To influence those around us with encouragement, our collective voices are making amazing music. The melody is strong, clear and is sustained by those who have been there before and are here today, making changes. There is a quiet thread that runs through all of us, it is a weave of acceptance, welcome, support and family.

LGBT Daily Spotlight is one of those vital influences. A site of celebration and pride. Each day, the names and influences of gay citizens and friends, are honored for their achievements and commitments to our community and the world.

I am both astonished and proud of those folks and it is for this reason that I am honored to have the opportunity to, I hope, influence others in a positive direction.

Proud.

About Heidi:

As an amateur observer of the human race, Heidi is a self -appointed documentarian of life’s little quirks and how to stumble through them with humor.

Maintaining that belief has brought her to that golden age of early-bird specials, senior discounts, and the VIP-AARP card.

When she isn’t acting as the arbiter of lesbian fashion, Heidi is a professional in the themed entertainment industry. As a Project Manager, her projects include the recently opened Motiongate & Bollywood theme parks in Dubai. Currently she is working on a new theme park in an undisclosed location in the Middle East.

Always on the lookout for new adventures, Heidi enjoys building Free Libraries and is currently co-developing an on-line directory for the themed entertainment industry.

“Gaydar” by Heidi Hirsch

Gaydar, according to Merriam Webster, is defined as slang: the ability to recognize homosexuals through observation or intuition.

Wikipedia defines it as a colloquialism referring to the intuitive ability to assess others’ sexual orientation as gay, bi-sexual or straight.

I define it as something I don’t have. I would like to say that it needs a tune up, but you should have it in order to tune it up!

I’m always intrigued when I find myself in a conversation and the subject of Gaydar comes up. Apparently, this ability to Gay-Spot is a feeling similar to the exaltation that one gets after combing the beaches for hours with a metal detector that goes off like a four-alarm fire alert. Never-mind that it turns out to be a bottle cap from the 70s, It’s the high you get from hitting pay dirt.

“Reeeaaally,” I say with great interest. “How do you know?” As I set the tone for intrigue and suspense.

“Oh, well my son’s best friend is gay. I knew it before he did.”
Hum, thinking I best not go down that path.

Tell me, what are the signs? I’m not sure I have that, what did you call it, Gay Radar? Do you see a gay person here? “Oh sure, I can spot them fast! See over there, that one, he’s soooooo gay!”

“Seriously,” I say, “How can you tell?”
“Well for one, look at what he is wearing, a straight man would NEVER wear those colors.”

Oh, crap, here we go again with the fashion police.

As a victim of my own insatiable need to poke the bear, I dig deeper. “Do you see any lesbians?” After a quick sweep of the room, “No, not yet. I’ll let you know when I see one.” Far be it from me to suggest that somebody’s Gaydar needs a tune-up.

Starting to feel a bit left out, I went to the all great and powerful source, Amazon Prime.

There it was, Gaydar: The Ultimate Insider Guide to the Gay Sixth Sense. According to the author, Gaydar is the telepathic sixth sense that only gay men—and the occasional ultra-savvy straight person—seem to possess.

Well, that leaves most of us wandering the vast waste land of “I don’t know, what do you think?”

I might not have conventional Gaydar, but I have Heidi Gaydar. As far as I’m concerned, it works every time.

Two women shopping at Home Depot together on Sunday morning with a cart full of tools, they are.

Two men shopping at Ikea together on a Sunday morning, with color swatches, they are.

Instagram photos of homemade pies, he is.

Instagram photos of step by step DIY projects, she is.

First to spot a new lipstick, he is.

Thinks that lipstick is a new girl in town, she is.

Dresses you down before saying “Hello”, he is.

Avoids eye contact at all cost when you say “Hello”, she is.

He still has his Barbie collection, he is.

Going to see Wonder Woman for the sixth time, because of the special effects, she is.

Profound use of the word “they”, they are!

And finally, the one single, most accurate, indicator that someone is gay. . .

One word, six letters. . . causing a ripple, a flitter and a breathy whisper.

Barbra.

Boom!
Mic Drop!

Me, satisfying smirk!

About Heidi:

As an amateur observer of the human race, Heidi is a self -appointed documentarian of life’s little quirks and how to stumble through them with humor.

Maintaining that belief has brought her to that golden age of early-bird specials, senior discounts, and the VIP-AARP card.

When she isn’t acting as the arbiter of lesbian fashion, Heidi is a professional in the themed entertainment industry. As a Project Manager, her projects include the recently opened Motiongate & Bollywood theme parks in Dubai. Currently she is working on a new theme park in an undisclosed location in the Middle East.

Always on the lookout for new adventures, Heidi enjoys building Free Libraries and is currently co-developing an on-line directory for the themed entertainment industry.

Gaydar: the Ultimate Insider Guide to the Gay Sixth Sense (2002) by Donald F. Reuter

Gay? Was it something I didn’t wear? by Heidi Hirsch

I would venture to say that at some point in a gay person’s life they are confronted with the annoying question, “Are you gay?”

That one, I can handle. I usually come back with an inquisitive, “ARE YOU?”

I was recently completely thrown off by a co-worker who exclaimed, “I didn’t know you were gay, you don’t dress like it.”

“Sorry, not enough flannel?”

Not enough flannel??? Was that the best that I could do? I know that it was weak but, honestly, I hadn’t developed a snappy comeback for that kind of comment.

Back before the turn of the century, before I knew that I was gay (didn’t everybody think that Stephanie Powers was hot as April Dancer in the Girl from U.N.C.L.E.?), I was in the throngs of puberty, acne and pursuit of comfortable clothes.

I slowly developed a keen sense of fashion – one size fits all colors. Hey, if it worked in blue, why would it not work in yellow, orange and basic black? My favorite color was jeans. Jeans worked with everything! I thought I was hot and ready for action walking out the door wearing jeans, a white t-shirt and a flannel jacket. Lucky for me, that was perfect attire for a bewildered D.I.T. (Dyke in Training).

There was that brief period of time in my life that I considered the conventional style of dress – meaning a dress! Fortunately, my head cleared and I was able to skirt that near disastrous attempt at femininity with only minor traumatic repercussions.

California is conveniently laid back so I took full advantage of the casual style. I work in an industry that the most brilliant of our creative wear hoodies and cut off shorts. No, I don’t work at Facebook but darn close!

Through the years, I honed my style of dress to reflect California Comfortable. Comfortable jeans, comfortable shirts and, yes, comfortable shoes. If the heels on my shoes is more than one inch, I get a nose bleed and feel slightly dizzy. I consider dressing up by pouring myself into Spanx for a client meeting.

So, here I am confronted with the very real possibility that my membership might be revoked and a representative from the gay community will come knocking on my door and demand my gifted toaster back just because I don’t dress gay!

This called for quick-witted action! Heading back towards the closet, not an easy thing to do,
I looked for my last hope of reversing this gay faux pas and there they were, my hiking boots!

The next day at work, my colleague approached me again with the same confused look on her face.
“Oh. My. God. I have the same pair of boots!!!? Does this mean I’m gay?”

With a click of my one inch heels, I turned like a queen on a disco dance floor and

said, “I don’t know, ARE YOU?”

About Heidi:

As an amateur observer of the human race, Heidi is a self -appointed documentarian of life’s little quirks and how to stumble through them with humor.

Maintaining that belief has brought her to that golden age of early-bird specials, senior discounts, and the VIP-AARP card.

When she isn’t acting as the arbiter of lesbian fashion, Heidi is a professional in the themed entertainment industry. As a Project Manager, her projects include the recently opened Motiongate & Bollywood theme parks in Dubai. Currently she is working on a new theme park in an undisclosed location in the Middle East.

Always on the lookout for new adventures, Heidi enjoys building Free Libraries and is currently co-developing an on-line directory for the themed entertainment industry.